The Fear of Being Found
by JakeHarrisLover
Summary: After the death of his father Jake Harris has a hard time facing his demons. when the girl he hates comes back into his life will she make his life miserable or will he find out that he's not the only one with skeletons in his closet? DEADLIEST CATCH.
1. Chapter 1

Jake Harris pulled his Escalade into the driveway and sighed as he pulled his keys out of the ignition. He looked up at his house and didn't want to go inside. He had lived there with his father his entire life but hadn't stepped foot inside since his father died a month before. Jake wasn't dealing with the death of his father at all. Whenever memories of his father crept into his mind and he felt like he was going to cry instead of facing his feelings he made himself feel better by getting high. Just before his father's death he had gone to rehab to get clean but he quit the program as soon as he found out his father had passed. He had stopped taking pills but he continued to smoke up to half a dozen times a day. He looked towards the second story of the house as his brother Josh's bedroom light clicked on. "Fuck." Jake mumbled under his breath. He wasn't in the mood to get bitched at by his brother. Jake reached over and opened his glove box. He pulled out his weed pipe and began digging around in his pockets. After a few seconds he grasped what he was looking for and pulled out the pill bottle shaped container that held his weed. He packed a bowl and lit up. Jake inhaled deeply and leaned back in his seat as he continued to hold in his smoke. He cracked his window as the smell of Marijuana engulfed his car and exhaled. Immediately he got that distant light headed feeling that he had craved. Four hits later Jake was no closer to getting out of the car. He was high and too relaxed to move. Jake jumped as their was a loud rapping on his window. He lowered his pipe out of sight and looked out of window. Jake couldn't believe who he was looking at. He didn't _want _to believe that Fallyn Kovalevsky was standing just outside of his car door. There was one person that he had always hated from the very first time they met and it was her. She was just a bitch. There was no other way to say it. She was conceited, blunt, a smart ass, sarcastic, and she always had to have the last word. What made Jake hate her even more was that everyone said that they were excruciatingly similar. Jake didn't see it. Fallyn was a rude bitch while Jake was... Well he was _Jake Harris_ after all. Fallyn had been close friends with his brother since she was in middle school even though she was several years younger than him. Jake couldn't fathom why his brother liked her. Jake hadn't seen her in a few years; ever since he and Josh started fishing life had been hectic and they rarely had time for friends. "What the hell are you doing?" Fallyn asked. She laughed and Jake wanted to knock the superior look off of her face. "None of your fucking business!" Jake snapped. If he didn't have the patience to deal with Josh he certainly didn't want to deal with Fallyn. He put his pipe in his jacket pocket and swung open his car door; not caring about the fact he hit Fallyn with it. "Why are you even here?" Jake asked venomously as he walked up the driveway.  
"None of your business asshole!" She shot back.  
Jake rounded on her. "This is my house it is my business!" Jake turned and kept walking up the driveway. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. Jake attemped to slam the door closed before Fallyn could step inside but she slipped inside behind him. He cursed her for being so tiny. She had always been exceptionally tiny. Jake was convinced she hadn't grown an inch since middle school. She was 5'1" at the most and Jake felt like a giant standing next to her. Not that he wanted to stand next to her. Not only was she a bitch but she was also...weird. Jake considered her to be an _attention whore_. Everytime he saw her she had done something stupid with her hair. This time it was wavy and went just above her elbows. It was a mixture of black and blood red. It had the tousled look and she had at least ten dangling clipins made of feathers and beads. She had half sleeve tattoos on both her arms, her eyebrow and nose pierced, and her ear lobes were stretched to the size of dimes with black plugs.  
"You look gross." Jake said with a perfectly straight face.  
"As do you baby." Fallyn replied, "blind people pick out clothes better than do you."  
Jake snorted and looked down at his outfit. Black jeans, a red and black flannel, and a pair of Vans. He straightened the red beanie on perched on his head and smirked, "I know I look good. I wish I could say the same for you." She was wearing a pair of tight black jeans, hot pink combat boots, and a black cut off t-shirt that went just below her belly button.  
"You always say that Jakey but its obvious to everyone how bad you want me. I'm sorry to break it to you but you're not my type."  
Jake snorted, "I'd rather cut my dick off than touch you." 

Jake turned his back on her and walked up the stairs. "Josh!" He called angrily, "Why is this bitch here!" Jake banged on his door repeatedly until Josh opened it.  
"Stop banging on my fucking door!" Josh said angrily.  
"Why is that bitch here?" Jake repeated.  
"She's staying here! You would know that if you hadn't disappeared for a month!"  
Jake rolled his eyes, "Where the fuck has she been sleeping?" He knew the answer before he even finished the question and he was already preparing to go off on Josh.  
"She's staying in your room."  
"Why the fuck is she staying in my room!" Jake roared, "You know how much I hate that bitch! I don't want her touching my stuff!"

Fallyn appeared at the stairs and walked over to the two brothers. "Trust me Jake. I do my best to avoid going anywhere near your stuff!" She said. Looking at Jake made her stomach turn. Fallyn hated everything about Jake Harris. The way he smirked after he told a joke, how he convinced girls he had real feelings for them and then tossed them to the side once he got what he wanted, and she especially hated the fact he acted like he was gods gift to the planet. In reality she felt god had specifally brought them together to test Fallyn on whether or not she could resist the urge to commit murder. Jake turned away from his brother to face Fallyn, "You've probably been going through my stuff and touching my underwear and shit."  
"Go fuck yourself Jake."  
Josh rolled his eyes, "You both need to shut the hell up. Jake she's staying here so either you man up and share a room or sleep on the couch."  
"You're not my authority Josh!" Jake said angrily, "Why can't she sleep on the couch?"  
"Because she's a fucking girl have some respect! Just agree and chill the fuck out! Or we can talk about the fact that you are high out of your mind right now!"  
Jake flipped them both off then stormed down the hall to his bedroom. He pushed open the door and then slammed it angrily behind him. Josh turned to Fallyn and smiled, "try to get along with him ok?"  
Fallyn feighned shock, "I do try and get along with him!"  
Josh raised his eyebrows, "Fallyn..."  
"Fine!" Fallyn said reluctantly, "I'll try and get along with him."  
"Good." Josh said as he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

Fallyn sighed as she walked down the hall to Jake's room. She had been crossing her fingers that Jake wouldn't return home. _'Damnit.' _She thought to herself as she pushed his door open.  
"Bitch." He said without looking up at her.  
"Asshole." She replied as she sat down on the bed she had been sleeping on. Jake had always had two twin size beds in his room. The house didn't have a guest room so when people visited they always slept in Jake's bedroom. Jake sat up on his own bed and glared at her. "Why are you even staying here?" He asked.  
"The house I was renting got sold and I haven't been able to find another place that I can afford. Josh said I can just stay here."  
"That was nice of him." Jake said sarcastically, "Don't you have a boyfriend or a friend you can stay with? There must be someone besides Josh somewhere out there who likes you."  
"My boyfriends roommates don't want another person staying there."  
Jake laughed, "Your boyfriend probably just doesn't like you."  
"Fuck off Jacob."

Fallyn untied her boots and kicked them off on the floor. "What the hell are you doing?" Jake asked as she pulled her shirt over head and dropped it on the floor; leaving her in a black lace bra. Fallyn raised an eyebrow, "umm... I'm changing. Never seen a girl without her clothes on?" She asked, "I'm not surprised."  
"I've seen half the girls in this state naked." Jake said as he looked away from her.  
"Strip clubs don't count honey."  
Fallyn pulled on a oversized t-shirt and peeled off her jeans. She laid down on her stomach and pulled out her cell phone. Fallyn wished she was staying anywhere but there. Although she adored Josh and he was her best friend in the entire world she prefered to stay as far away from his little brother as possible. How was it even possibly for one person to be so cocky and obnoxious?

Fallyn looked over her shoulder and saw Jake looking at her. "Trying to look at my ass?" She questioned with a smirk.  
"Yeah right." He replied.  
He stood up and walked over to a chair where his jacket was wresting. Jake pulled out his pipe and his container of weed. He threw himself back onto his bed and began packing the bowl. "What are you doing?" Fallyn asked as she sat up on her knees and looked at him.  
"What's it look like?" He replied irritably as he dug in his pocket for a lighter.  
"Want to smoke me out?" Fallyn asked.  
Jake pulled the pipe away from his lips and raised his eyebrows, "You smoke?"  
"If I didn't would I have asked you to smoke me out?"  
Jake shrugged, "Does Josh know?"  
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." Fallyn climbed off of her bed and walked the short distance over to Jake. She took the pipe and lighter from him and took a long hit. Jake smiled and took the pipe back from her, "I always thought you were to much of a pussy to smoke."  
"I'm full of surprises." Fallyn replied as she watched Jake take a hit. They smoked the rest of the bowl together and then Fallyn climbed into bed. She loved going to sleep right after smoking. Weed helped her fall asleep right away and she didn't have to lie awake and think about all the things that had plagued her in her past and even in her present.

Jake watched girl he despised rolled over and go to sleep. He hoped she would find a way to move out ASAP but he had a feeling she would be around for a while. _'Someone shoot me.' _He thought to himself.

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	2. Chapter 2

The next day at well past 12:00PM Fallyn and Jake were still not awake. Smoking Marijuana before bed more often than not made each of them have a great nights sleep but it also made it near impossible to get up in the morning. Fallyn slowly opened her eyes as something collided with her face. She felt around and discovered that it was one of Jake's pillows. "What the hell?" Fallyn said irritably.  
"If your phone rings one more time I'm going to throw it out the fucking window!" Jake yelled back as he pulled the blankets over his head. Fallyn rolled her eyes and picked her Iphone up off the floor. She had six missed calls all from the same person. Elijah Snider. Fallyn and Elijah had been together for more than three years and it was lust at first sight. Elijah had been just Fallyn's type; Tall, muscular, shaved head, olive skin, green eyes, and he was covered head to foot in tattoos. He was the type of guy who would punch someone in the face just for looking at Fallyn and in the beginning she thought his protective ways were cute. Three years later however he had gone from protective to possessive and Fallyn spent a lot of time tip toeing around him to keep him from losing control. As much as she despised Jake she would much rather live with him than Elijah. Fallyn called him back and pressed the phone to her ear. Her eyes were heavy and she felt herself drifting back off to sleep as the phone rang in her ear. "What the fuck?" Elijah said angrily as he picked up.  
"Hello to you too." Fallyn replied as she tried to stifle a yawn.  
"What was that?"  
Fallyn sat up and ran her hand through her hair. _'Great.' _She thought to herself, _'barely awake and I've already pissed him off.'  
_"Nothing... sorry." She replied.  
"Why haven't you been answering my calls?"  
"I just woke up Eli."  
"Liar. It's almost 1:00."  
"I'm not lying."  
"Right. I'm picking you up in 30 minutes be ready."  
"Ok."  
Elijah hung up and Fallyn slowly forced herself to get out of bed. She hoped a shower would help her wake up; Fallyn felt sluggish as she made her way to the bathroom and she could barely keep her eyes open.

Instead of waking her up the warm water relaxed her even more. Fallyn turned the tap to cold and jumped as it made contact with her skin. After quickly washing her hair in the ice cold water she hopped out of the shower and dried off. Fallyn was now wide awake but she was also freezing. Fallyn wrapped the towel tightly around herself and headed back to the room she shared with Jake. He was propped up on his pillows texting with a smirk on his face. _'Poor girl.' _Fallyn thought to herself. Fallyn was more than willing to bet that Jake was in the middle of convincing some clueless girl he liked her. Fallyn felt Jake's eyes on her as she crouched down to retrieve some lotion from one of her bags. "Got a problem?" She asked without looking up at him  
"Yeah actually." He said sharply, "I don't appreciate you walking into my room naked."  
Fallyn rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed. "I'm in a towel Jacob."  
"Yeah and I'm going to be pissed if it falls off. I do not want to see you naked."  
"Oh really? Your eyes practically popped out of your skull when you saw me in my bra last night. You'd have nothing to worry about if you weren't staring at me."  
Jake's cheeks flushed in anger, "I'm not staring at you! Its not my fault your in my fucking eye line."  
"Whatever." Fallyn mumbled.  
Jake pointedly looked away as Fallyn changed. If he would have looked Fallyn wouldn't have cared less. She had never been shy and the opinion of someone as unimportant as Jake didn't mean much to her. Once she was dressed in a black tank top, a pair of skinny jeans, and her favorite pink combat boots she headed downstairs. She peeked out of the window beside the front door but didn't see Elijah's car anywhere in sight. Fallyn pulled her phone out of her back pocket and saw he was already ten minutes later than he said he would be. Fallyn walked into the kitchen and began searching for something to eat. She made a mental note to take Josh grocery shopping as she looked through the near empty cabinets. Finally she decided on a bowl of cereal but she couldn't reach the box inconveniently placed on the top shelf. Fallyn felt someone step behind her; he then reached over her head for the box. Fallyn smiled, "Thanks."  
"Oh its you." She added when she saw it was Jake.  
He smirked and grabbed himself a bowl from the adjacent cabinet. "Um hello?" Fallyn said as Jake sat down at the island and poured the last of the cereal into his bowl.  
"What?" He replied.  
"I was going to eat that!"  
"Oh well."  
Jake stood up and walked to the refrigerator for the carton of milk. Fallyn took the opportunity to dive for the bowl but for someone who smoked weed everyday Jake had incredibly fast reflexes. He seized both her wrists and pinned her against the oven. "I don't think so." He smirked.  
"Get off!" Fallyn said as her annoyance reached its breaking point.  
"Make me."  
Fallyn drew him in closer to her and lifted her hand up, bringing his with it. She sank her teeth into the side of his wrist and Jake immediately released her. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked as he examined the imprints of her teeth in his skin. "Don't fucking touch me." Fallyn said angrily.  
Jake rolled his eyes; and they landed on her left arm which she was currently holding with her right. "What's wrong with your arm?" Jake asked.  
"I don't know what your talking about." Fallyn replied as she walked past him and hopped up on the counter. Jake eyed her suspiciously for a moment but then rolled his eyes and sat back down at the island. "Whatever." He mumbled, "I don't care anyway." Fallyn shot him a dirty look but smiled as Josh entered the kitchen.  
"What's going on?" He asked as he scratched his bare chest. Fallyn shrugged, "Jake is being a dick and I'm waiting for Elijah to pick me up."  
Josh had been looking towards his brother but his head immediately snapped in Fallyn's direction upon hearing the name Elijah. Josh's face hardened and Fallyn braced herself for the explosion. Josh had hated Elijah from the very beginning and had tried to talk Fallyn into breaking up with him numerous times. The fact of the matter however was that she loved Elijah and she couldn't imagine being without him. "Are you kidding?" Josh said angrily.  
Fallyn shrugged and looked down at her boots instead of at Josh. "He's my boyfriend Joshua." She said softly.  
"Yeah and he treats you like shit."  
Fallyn glanced at Jake who was looking back and forth between her and Josh with curiosity. "Josh stop."  
"No. He's such a dick! Has he given you any more bruis..."  
"Josh stop it!"  
Guilt spread across his face and Fallyn could see he knew he went to far. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.  
"It's whatever." She replied as she tried to fight back tears, "I'm going to wait for him outside."

Fallyn hopped off the counter and exited the room before he could say anything else. She stepped outside and sat down on the porch steps. Her eyes burned with tears that stemmed from frustration and pain. She was ashamed of how disappointed Josh was in her for being with Elijah. Even though she cut Josh off she knew exactly what he was going to say. _'Has he given you any more bruises lately?_' Although she understood Josh's concern she firmly believed that Elijah would never physically hurt her again. He promised he wouldn't and she believed him. It wasn't as if he hit her anyway; he had merely shoved her a few times. As far as Fallyn was concerned most of the time he got rough with her it had been her fault anyway. She knew he had a bad temper but he continued to do things to piss him off.

Jake watched mildly interested as Josh slammed things around the kitchen. "What's up with you?" Jake asked. "Fallyn." Josh replied as he sat down across from his brother and buried his head in his hands. "What about her?" Jake asked. After the encounter between Fallyn and his brother Jake found that he was rather curious about Fallyn's relationship. Not to mention he wanted to know about what he had seen on her arm. Josh looked up at his brother and rolled his eyes, "Don't pretend you care about her."  
"I don't care about her. I was just curious."  
"You can be a real asshole Jacob."  
Jake shrugged and shoveled cereal into his mouth.  
"She cuts herself." Jake said without waiting to swallow, "I saw the marks on her arm."  
"I know she does but I can't get her to stop."  
"Why does she do it though?"  
Josh shrugged and placed his head back in his hands, "I don't know what goes on in her head anymore than what I know goes on in yours."  
Jake grimaced but didn't respond. Jake loved his brother to death. He was the only real family he had left and if he had the strength Jake would have willingly shared his feelings with him; but the fact was Jake didn't have the strength to deal with his feelings on his own let alone share them. As he and his brother sat in silence guilt from shutting him out consumed him. As hard as he tried to stop it thoughts of his father soon followed. His father had always been the one person Jake had been sure was indestructible but within two weeks he had seen his hero utterly destroyed. Jake's eyes welled up and he was furious with himself for letting his guard down. Jake left the kitchen and quickly made his way to his bedroom.

As soon as Jake exhaled the smoke from his first hit he felt relaxed. He cracked his bedroom window and stood in front of it. His eyes were heavy and his vision shook as he gazed out at the street. He was on his fourth hit when he looked down at the driveway and saw that Fallyn was still outside. She had gone outside more than half an hour before and he couldn't help but think her boyfriend was a dick for making her wait so long. _'You do the same thing to chicks all the time.'_ He reminded himself. All the same he had never known she had cut herself and he wondered if it was because of her boyfriend. _'Obviously.'_ He told himself as he remembered what his brother had said him giving her bruises. Nobody deserved to be hit. Nobody, not even Fallyn. _'What kind of guy would put his hands on his girl?'_ Jake wondered. He got his answer as a white 49' chevy pickup pulled up in front of the house. A tall tatted up guy stepped out of the car and walked over to Fallyn. Jake's first impression was that he looked like Ami James from _Miami ink._ _'Prick.' _Jake thought to himself as he sat his pipe down on the windowsill and threw himself onto his bed.

Fallyn crossed her arms and glared at Elijah as he stepped out of his car and walked over to her. He was an hour late and she was furious about it. Elijah smiled and unfolded her arms. "What's with that look?" He asked as he pulled her towards him.  
"I've been waiting for you for an hour!"  
Elijah smiled, "Chill. I got distracted."  
"By?"  
"Don't worry about it."  
Fallyn felt anger bubble in the pit of her stomach but she didn't argue. She knew that if she would have been the one an hour late he would have flipped out, but double standards were always present in their relationship. Fallyn pulled away from Elijah and climbed into his truck. She sat in silence as he drove and gazed out of the window. Fallyn was beyond annoyed but too afraid to voice her opinion any furthur. "Ay get your boot off of my seat!" Elijah said angrily.  
"Sorry." Fallyn replied automatically as she pulled her foot out of from underneath her.  
"I just had the interior cleaned!"  
"I said sorry!" Fallyn snapped. She absolutely hated Elijah's truck. Although she knew it was irrational to despise an inatamant object Fallyn hated how well Elijah treated his truck. It was literally in perfect condition and Fallyn wished he would put as much time and energy into their relationship. Elijah looked as if he was going to yell at her but then he reached down and patted the seat in between them. Without hesitation Fallyn unbuckled her seat belt and slid next to him. Elijah wrapped his arm around her and ran his hand up and down her bare arm. Apologizing was not something Elijah was good at but Fallyn sensed he was sorry. Bringing Fallyn close to tears and then wrapping his arm around her was something he did often. However it was never long before Fallyn pissed him off again.

When they arrived at Elijah's house Fallyn walked straight to his bedroom and ignored his two roommates who Fallyn considered to be bigger assholes than Jake (if that were possible.) One minute they would be beyond rude to her and the next they would be hitting on her. Of course Elijah always got mad at her instead of them because of it. Elijah entered the room behind her then closed and locked the door. "Wanna watch a movie?" Fallyn asked.  
"Not really." Elijah replied as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his muscular tattooed covered torso.  
"What do you want to do then?"  
"What do you think?"  
Fallyn rolled her eyes. _Sex. Sex. Sex._ Sometimes she wondered if that was the only reason Elijah kept her around.  
"Eli we haven't seen each other all week. I just want to hang out."  
"Yeah me too." Elijah said as he pulled his belt out through the loops. He walked over to the bed where Fallyn was sitting and pulled her to her feet. He sat down on the bed and then pulled her onto his lap. Elijah pulled Fallyn's tank top over her head and ran his hands over her back. "I love you." He said as kissed her neck. _'I love you.' _That was all it took for her to completely give in to him. She brought her lips down to his and ran her hands over the back of his smooth head and chiseled back. Fallyn pressed herself against him and allowed him to flip her onto the bed. He sat up and yanked her boots off before peeling her pants and underwear off. After pushing his jeans down around his knees he positioned himself between her legs and began thrusting in to her so roughly she knew she would later have bruises on the inside of her thighs. Fallyn looked up at Elijah as he moved above her; His tattoos seemed to breath as his arms and shoulders worked. Fallyn's whole body shuddered as Elijah brought her to Orgasm and shortly after he collapsed on top of her. Fallyn could barely breath. While she was 95lbs Elijah was 200.  
"Eli..." She pleaded as she tried to push him off of her.  
Elijah rolled off of her and pulled his jeans back up. He climbed off of the bed and stood up.  
"I have to go somewhere real quick. I'll be back."  
Fallyn sat up and pulled his sheets up to her chest. "Where are you going?" She asked, "We just got here."  
"I need to check out some parts for my truck."  
"Your car is fine Eli!"  
"I'm not going to argue with you about it Fallyn."  
"So why did you even pick me up? Just to have sex with me real quick and then leave me alone?"  
"I'll be right back!" Elijah yelled.  
"That's what you always say." She said softly. Elijah pulled her off of the bed by her forearm and she winced as his fingers dug into her skin.  
"Why do you always have to have the last fucking word?" He said with venom.  
"I'm sorry." She replied in hopes of avoiding a fight and him letting go of her arm.  
"I'm not going to deal with your shit right now. If you don't want to wait here call your little boyfriend Josh to pick you up."  
"Don't call him that! You know I don't have feelings for him."  
"I know that's why you live with him. Are you fucking him on the side?"  
"No." Fallyn said as she strained to get away from him, "I only live with him because your roommates won't let me stay here. I love you Eli."  
"Whatever." He replied as he let go of her arm. Elijah stooped down and picked up his t-shirt. He pulled it on and grabbed his car keys from the dresser. "I'm out. Wait for me or call that little bitch to pick you up. I don't care." He left the room without another word and Fallyn slowly began to dress herself. She sat down on his bed and turned the tv on deciding it would be best to wait to for him.

Hours passed and night had fallen but Elijah had still not returned. Fallyn knew she was stupid for waiting on him but she did it every time anyway. She loved him and just couldn't let him go. Her brain told her to drop him first chance she got but her heart wouldn't allow it. While Elijah brought fear he was also her protection and she loved him to death. Fallyn picked up her phone and dialed his number. After ringing several times it went to voice mail. Fallyn sighed and dialed Josh's number instead. He answered immediately and Fallyn teared up as soon as she heard his voice. "What did he do?" Josh asked.  
"I... will you just come get me?" Fallyn asked.  
"Yeah... Text me his address."  
"Ok thank you."  
Fallyn hung up and quickly sent Josh directions. After a few minutes she decided to wait for him outside. It was twenty minutes before Fallyn saw headlights appear at the end of the street. She walked to the curb as the car approached and didn't realize that it wasn't Josh's until it parked just a few feet away from where she was standing. Her heart sank upon realizing it was an _Escalade_. _'Jake's car.'_ She walked over to the car and pulled open the door. "What are you doing here?"

The interior light from Jake's car lit up Fallyn's face and he was surprised to see that she had been crying. He wasn't sure what it made him feel. Certainly he didn't like seeing her like that but it was also hard for him to feel bad for someone he hated. "Josh had no gas in his car." Jake replied  
"Why didn't he just drive your car?"  
"Nobody drives me car but me."  
"Well... thanks." Fallyn said as she climbed into the car. It was the most awkward drive Jake had ever experienced. It was completely silent except for the occasional sniffle that came from Fallyn. Jake glanced over at a nearby park as he stopped at a red light. He reached into his pocket and briefly closed his hand around the small container that held his Marijuana. "Hey..." Jake began slowly, "Want to go smoke?"  
Fallyn looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.  
Instantly Jake regretted saying anything and he waited for the smart ass response Fallyn was sure to give him. "Yeah ok." She replied. Jake made an illegal u turn and parked in the parking lot attached to the small park. Jake cracked the windows and reached across Fallyn to grab his pipe from the glove box. He packed the bowl at took the first hit. Within minutes they both were leaning back in their seats completely relaxed. Jake glanced over at Fallyn who was watching a bird eat remnants of somebody's lunch off of a nearby table. Jake's mind was cloudy and the all the weed he had smoked in the last few minutes was making him feel bold.  
"Fallyn." He said suddenly.  
"What?" She replied as she slowly turned towards him and rested her head against the head rest.  
"Why do you cut yourself?"  
Fallyn gave him a small sleepy smile, "You've got balls Jacob."  
"I'm serious. I wanna know."  
"Why?"  
"I don't know I just do."  
"I haven't cut myself in weeks."  
"But why did you?"  
Fallyn looked away from him and back out of the window, "it started when I was 16 after my older brother took a handful of pills and didn't wake up and it got worse in the last few years."  
"Did your brother do it on purpose?"  
"You don't take a handful of pills on accident."  
"Josh never told me about that."  
"Would you have even cared anyway?" T  
he honest answer was _'no.'_ and it made Jake ashamed of himself. _'It got worse in the last few years.' _Jake knew he was jumping to conclusions but he had a feeling her boyfriend had something to do with it. All the same he decided not to question her about it.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Its ok I guess." She replied, "What really bothers me is that my brother asked me if I loved him the day before he did it. I told him to _'stop being stupid'. _How hard would it have been for me just to say yes? Not hard at all. I'll regret saying that one sentence for the rest of my life." Jake understood completely where Fallyn was coming from. There was a million things he had said and done to his father that he wished he could take back. Not being a better son was by far what haunted Jake the most. Jake wished more than anything that he could have just a few more minutes with his father to explain how sorry he was and how much he loved him one more time.  
"Fuck." Jake mumbled.  
"What?" Fallyn asked.  
"I got high so I didn't have to think about shit like this and you're making me depressed as hell."  
Fallyn smiled, "you brought it up."  
"Yeah I know."  
"That's why I smoke too by the way."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah but there has to be a better way for me to stop being so fucked up inside. You know what I mean?"  
"Yeah."  
Jake knew exactly what she meant but didn't even know how to begin fixing himself.  
"When we're sober..." Fallyn began as she pulled her hair onto one shoulder, "let's pretend this conversation never happened."  
"Deal." Jake agreed.

When they finally arrived home that night Jake was grateful Josh was already in bed so he wouldn't see he and Fallyn were both blown. Fallyn went straight upstairs to bed but Jake collapsed on the couch and turned on the tv. He couldn't concentrate on what he was watching and the combination of racing thoughts and Marijuana was giving him a headache. His feelings towards Fallyn had not changed a bit; he still completely hated her. However he did understand her a little more and even had some compassion for her. He understood what it was like to lose someone you loved and want nothing more than to be numb. "Fuck." Jake mumbled as his father's smiling face crept into his mind. Phil Harris had always had a smile that reached his piercing blue eyes every time. One thing Jake knew for sure was that if his father could see him... he definitely wouldn't be smiling.

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than Phil loved "crab farts"**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Fallyn woke up early; much too early but she didn't open her eyes. Fallyn hoped that if she laid there she would be able to drift back to sleep. she was exhausted and at the moment wanted nothing more than to sleep until 3:00PM. As soon as her mind began to go blank and she felt herself drifting back off to sleep her phone began to ring; In her tired state it sounded more like screaming. Fallyn grabbed her phone and slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurred from sleep and she couldn't make out who was calling her. Finally it cleared and she saw it was Elijah. "That's it!" Jake said angrily as he threw the covers off of himself and strode across the room. Fallyn's eyes widened and she back up as Jake crawled on the bed; she had no idea what he was doing. Jake climbed over her and snatched the ringing phone from her hand. "Hey!" Fallyn yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"  
"I'm tired of listening to your fucking phone ring! I'm going to throw it out of the window!"  
"Give it back!" The phone had stopped ringing and Fallyn knew Elijah would be pissed at her for missing his call.  
"No." Jake said simply as he climbed off of the bed and stood up.  
"Come on Jake please?" She replied as she stood in front of him and placed her hands on her hips.  
Jake smirked and held her phone high over her head. "Why should I?"  
The phone began to ring again and Fallyn's eyes filled with tears as she imagined the tongue lashing she was going to get from Elijah later.  
Jake's smirk fell off of his face as he looked down at her. "Fuck." He mumbled and tossed the phone into her hands, "You don't have to cry about it."  
Jake climbed back into his bed and Fallyn turned her back on him to answer her phone.  
"Hello?" She said quickly.  
"What the fuck?" Was Elijah's response.  
"I'm sorry! I couldn't find my phone. What's up?"  
"Sure... Where were you last night?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I came home and you were gone."  
Fallyn wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. He had left her alone for hours and now he was making it sound as if she was the one who had done something wrong.  
"I waited for you for hours Eli." Fallyn said; it took everything in her to keep her voice calm.  
"Would it have killed you to wait a little longer?"  
"You basically told me to leave!"  
"I didn't really think you were going to leave."  
"Well I can't read your mind!..."  
"Baby..." He said cutting her off before she could say anything else.  
"What?"  
"I want to come see you."  
Fallyn bit her lip. Her instincts told her to tell him no and make him suffer at home by himself but, "ok fine." Came spilling out of her mouth before she could stop herself.  
"See you soon babe."  
Fallyn hung up and held her phone limply at her side.

Fallyn turned around and faced Jake who was sitting on the bed leaning against the wall with his legs crossed. Sometimes a person asks you for help without saying anything or even realizing they're doing it; and the look on Fallyn's face screamed there was a problem. Jake however didn't like or know her well enough to say anything. He turned away from her and picked up his phone off of the bedside table. Jake selected a random girl's number from his contacts and started to text her. He saw Fallyn walk out of the room out of the corner of his eye and heard the shower start shortly after. Jake ran his hand through his hair and sat his phone down in his lap. Something that his high school history teacher, the only teacher he had ever liked once said floated into his mind, _'The scars left from an onlooker last decades longer than the ones left from the assailant.' _Jake shook his head to clear his thoughts. Fallyn was not his responsibility. If she wanted to spend her life with an asshole of a boyfriend then it was her own fault. What was he supposed to do anyway? The only thing that matched his hate for her was her hate for him. The only time they weren't screaming at each other was when they were both so blown they could barely move. If anybody should have stepped in it should have been Josh not him.

When Fallyn entered the bedroom after her shower Jake was gone and she was glad to have the room to herself again even if it was just for a few minutes. She quickly dressed and did her hair. After giving herself smokey eyes and applying her favorite cherry lip gloss she headed downstairs. As Fallyn walked to the kitchen she glanced out of the window and saw Josh's car pulling away.  
"Can I go anywhere without you following me five seconds later?I know I'm cute but damn..." Jake asked as she entered the kitchen. Fallyn flipped him off and pulled open the refrigerator, "Don't flatter yourself Jacob."

Jake smiled as Fallyn bent over to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. That morning she didn't look particularly _horrible_. Her hair was still tousled and held almost a dozen of her signature bead and feather clip ins. It was red and black just like it was everyday but it didn't look as stupid as usual. She was wearing a flowing maroon tank top that went to her belly button, a pair of black jeans with ripped knees, and black moccasins. Jake's eyes traveled to her exposed lower back; she had the two indents that formed a V shape and Jake wondered if she even knew they were there. Fallyn straightened up and closed the refrigerator door. She took a sip of her water and then gave Jake a questioning look. "Why are you staring at me?" She asked.  
"I'm not."  
Fallyn laughed, "Yeah right."  
"Why would I be looking at you?"  
Fallyn shrugged, "Look Jake it's cool that we smoke together but when I'm sober I can't stand you and I know you can't stand me. Don't confuse yourself into thinking you like me or something ok?"  
_'Cocky bitch.' _Jake thought angrily.  
"I would never like you!" Jake said venomously, "I mean look at you."  
"What do you mean?"  
Jake could see he had touched a nerve and knew he couldn't stop himself from twisting the knife. "Well..." He continued, "You're short, your hair is ugly, everything you wear is stupid, you've got too many issues to count, and you're a bitch."  
Instead of hurting her feelings Jake merely made a smile creep across her face, "Funny. I feel the exact way about you. Try to remember that ok?" Fallyn turned and exited the room leaving a startled and confused Jake behind. _'God I hate her.' _He thought to himself. Never in a million years would he ever like Fallyn and she was crazy for thinking that was even a possibility. Sure she looked ok for once but Jake figured it was because he wasn't fully awake yet.

Fallyn smiled to herself as she sat on the couch and waited for Elijah to arrive. Nothing amused her quite like messing with Jake's head. She heard the familiar sounds of Elijah's engine and stood up to look out of the living room window. Fallyn watched him park his truck next to the curb and then she went outside to meet him. Fallyn walked down the driveway and rolled her eyes as Elijah examined his truck to make sure it was ok; she smiled as he turned towards her and began walking up the driveway to meet her. In Fallyn's opinion he was dressed to perfection; black _Affliction_ t-shirt, dark jeans with a black belt, and black shoes. Elijah held his arms open for her and Fallyn wrapped her arms around his waist. Fallyn could always tell at first glance what type of mood Elijah was in and she was grateful he seemed to be in a good mood.  
"I'm sorry baby." Elijah said as he bent down and kissed Fallyn on the cheek.  
"For what?" She asked.  
"For everything. You're too good to me Fall."  
Fallyn grinned and rested her head against his chest. These were the moments she remembered why she cared about Elijah so much. She remembered why her lust for him had turned to love. In the begining if something was bothering Fallyn she could have counted on him to drop whatever he was doing to fix it. Even if she claimed to be ok he would always see through her and drive to see her. They used to laugh together; so hard both Fallyn's jaw and stomach muscles would be sore. Now however their relationship was no more than cold and most of the time Fallyn wondered if he even still loved her; but all it took was a simple _'I'm sorry baby'_ to make her feel ok. At least for the moment. When Fallyn led Elijah into the house she pulled him to the living room and plopped down on the couch. The last thing she wanted to do was take him upstairs; Fallyn knew he would freak out if he found out she was sharing a room with Jake. Elijah lifted Fallyn into his lap with little effort and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you Fallyn." He said as he kissed the back of her shoulder.  
"I love you too." She replied. Fallyn twisted her body to face him and gave him a light kiss. When they pulled apart his eyes landed on her arm. "What's that?" He asked.  
Fallyn looked down at her arm and immediately turned it so he couldn't see it. At first she had thought he was talking about her cuts but realized he was talking about the two finger shaped bruises that had bloomed since the day before. "Nothing." She replied.  
"Let me see."  
When Fallyn didn't move Elijah lifted up her arm and turned it to look at it. His eyes widened slightly as he examined the discoloration. "Did I do that?" He asked.  
Fallyn nodded.  
"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again."  
_'That's what you always say.'_ She thought to herself but instead said, "I know."  
"I don't mean to hurt you, you know."  
"I know." She said once more.  
"I wouldn't get so frustrated if I didn't love you."

Jake listened from the kitchen as Elijah fed Fallyn what Jake considered to be bullshit lines. He wondered how Fallyn could possibly be so gullible and blind. Clearly Fallyn was nothing more than I prize to Elijah. As a master manipulator himself Jake saw straight thru Eli _'who cares?'_ Jake thought to himself. _'Not me.' _He added as he left the kitchen and walked upstairs.

One moment Fallyn and Elijah had settled down on the couch to watch a movie and the next she was being shaken roughly awake. Fallyn slowly opened her eyes and pried Elijah's hands off of her.  
"Are you kidding me?" He asked angrily.  
_'Great.'_ Fallyn thought to herself, "I'm sorry."  
"I come over to spend time with you and you fucking fall asleep."  
"I'm sorry Eli I'm just tired."  
"Why the hell are you tired? You weren't doing anything but sitting on your lazy ass last night."  
Fallyn shrugged and looked away from him.  
"You been smoking again?" He asked darkly. There was nothing that annoyed Elijah more than the fact Fallyn smoked weed. In his opinion it was a _'bitch drug.' _that only _'low lifes' _used. Fallyn didn't respond but it was enough of an answer for Elijah. "You're almost 23 fucking years old Fallyn when are you going to grow up?"  
"It's not that big of a deal."  
"Its not that big of a deal?" He echoed, "see this is the shit that pisses me off! And you wonder why I get so mad at you all the time! It's because you make stupid juvenile decisions."  
"I'm sorry Eli." _'I'm sorry.' _It was Fallyn's go to answer. It always made more sense to her just to give in rather than make him angrier.  
Elijah rolled his eyes, "I need some space Fallyn."  
"I... are you breaking up with me?"  
"Is that what I said? I just need to spend a few days away from you."  
"I didn't do anything wrong." Fallyn said weakly.  
"What's sad is you believe that's true." He replied.  
Without another word Elijah stood up and left the house. Not long afterwards Fallyn heard his engine roar to life and him peel away from the house. She allowed a few tears to flow freely down her face before forcing herself to stop.  
She was tired of crying and of everything she said being wrong. Fallyn wasn't sure how much longer she could live her life feeling inferior.

Jake barely glanced up as Fallyn entered the room and continued to shovel chips into his mouth. He had heard Elijah yelling at her from downstairs and was unsurprised when he heard him speed away from the house. His sympathy for Fallyn was nonexistent; it was her own fault for not wising up and breaking up with him. His feelings changed however when he looked up and saw Fallyn sitting on the edge of her bed. Her eyes were red and glossy and she looked broken. Jake had never seen her like that before. Not once. She usually had a superior look on her face that made Jake's skin crawl and a sarcastic demeanor that angered Jake more than anything else. However he preferred that much more than seeing her look so weak. "Why don't you just break up with him!" Jake blurted out before he could stop himself.  
"Because I love him."  
"I treat my one night stands better than he treats you."  
"Shut up Jake."  
"He's abusing you Fallyn."  
"No he's not."  
"Yes he is! He's been here once and even I can see it! He treats you like garbage and then blames you for it, He goes from hot to cold just like that and then you apologize for it! And to top it off he hurts you physically! I heard him promise he wouldn't do it again but promises don't mean shit if you break them over and over again!"  
"How are you any different?" Fallyn asked angrily, "So what you don't touch me but you treat me like shit so what's your excuse."  
"I'm not you're boyfriend."  
"Whatever Jake. He isn't abusing me ok?"  
"You can't see the forest from the trees Fallyn."  
Jake watched as the impact of his words hit her and it surprised him. He'd never seen anybody affected by anything that he'd said before. Fallyn began to cry and Jake was instantly uncomfortable. Even if he wanted to he couldn't bring himself to go comfort her.  
"I just want someone to care." Fallyn said softly through her tears.  
"Josh cares." He replied.  
Fallyn rolled her eyes,"Yeah and who else?"  
"Your parents"  
"My family fell apart after my brother died. I haven't seen my parents in years."  
"How do you deal with that?" Jake asked. The words came out before he even realized what he was saying. How could she possibly go without talking to her family in years? He hadn't spoken to his dad in a month and it killed him.  
Fallyn held out her arm revealing her row of cuts, "Clearly I don't." She said softly.  
"You have to stop doing that Fallyn."  
"I told you I haven't done it in weeks."  
"Well don't do it again."  
"Why do you even care what I do? You hate me."  
"Because. I miss my dad like you miss your family. I know what you're going through but what your doing to yourself isn't any better than what Elijah does to you."

Fallyn wiped her eyes and looked curiously at Jake. It surprised her to hear him mention his father. Josh had openly spoken about him on numerous occasions but Fallyn hadn't even heard Jake utter his name. "Why don't you ever talk about your dad?" Fallyn asked. Jake looked away from her and down at a pair of shoes on the floor instead. "Talking about him just makes it harder. Thinking about him is bad enough. Lately smoking hasn't even been helping as much as it used to." Jake's eyes welled up with tears and although he tried he couldn't keep them from streaming down his cheeks, "I miss him so much. I thought he was going to be around forever. He was only 53! He rode a fucking Harley for fucks sake!" Fallyn shook her head unable to think of a response. She knew and understood the pain in his voice very well. It was what she felt every time she thought about her brother or how bad Elijah was hurting her. "I'm sorry." She replied finally.  
Jake shrugged, "It's not like there is anything I can do about it."

When Josh returned that evening the three of them sat around the island in the kitchen and ate chinese food that he had brought home with him. Fallyn was incredibly grateful that Jake didn't mention anything about Elijah's visit. She knew Josh would be beyond angry. Fallyn also knew he would have very little patience about the fact she already missed him. Jake barely spoke as he ate his food and Fallyn knew he was thinking about his father. Discomfort was written all over his face and Josh was beginning to eye him suspiciously; but he didn't say anything. Part of Fallyn was grateful for that too; she knew Jake wasn't ready to talk to his brother just yet.

Over the next week the atmosphere within the house had begun to change. Jake and Fallyn had stopped making hateful comments to each other but undeniably still made jabs at each other. Besides that Jake and Fallyn barely spoke to each other but had a mutual understanding that something had changed between them. Fallyn kept a smile on her face for Josh's sake but inside she felt constant turmoil. Elijah hadn't called Fallyn once and she missed him so bad it hurt. Despite everything she loved him and wanted him near her. Fallyn returned from the grocery store with Josh one evening and sat the bags on the counter before slowly making her way up the stairs. She opened the bedroom door and found that Jake was gone. _'Thank god.'_ She thought to herself. Finally a chance to be alone. Earlier in the day she thought she heard Elijah's truck pull up to the house but was disappointed; She had been an emotional wreck ever since. Fallyn placed her favorite CD, _Brothers_ by _the Black Keys _into Jake's CD player and sat cross legged on her bed. She closed her eyes and focused on the music as it echoed through out the room.

Jake pounded fists with his friend and wingman for the night Ryan Simpson as he entered a bar not far from his house. Jake ordered a beer and made no effort to go talk to any girls. That was something Jake Harris did not have to do. Girls usually flocked to him and he just selected the most desirable one. Within minutes two blond girls, one slightly shorter than the other approached Jake and Ryan. He was in a generous mood and allowed Ryan to choose the girl he wanted. Jake smiled and threw his arm over the shoulder of the shorter girl left behind. "What's up baby?" He asked.  
"You tell me." She replied.  
"Want a drink?"  
"Want to buy me one?"  
Jake nodded and removed his arm from her shoulder. He turned to the bar and ordered her a Jack and diet. When he turned back to her with her drink in his hand he took the opportunity to look her up and down. Blond hair, blue eyes, and an hour glass shape. She was wearing a pair of Jeans, gray _Ugg_ boots, and a pink cardigan. She wasn't terrible to look at; in fact Jake could have done much worse but she was... _'boring as hell.'_ Jake thought to himself. There was absolutely nothing original about her. "What's your name?" He asked.  
"Amanda." She replied before she took a sip of her drink.  
_'Even her name sucks.' _Jake thought to himself. "I'm Jake."  
Amanda smiled, "So Jake... If you were to kiss me right now I wouldn't mind."  
Jake fought the urge to roll his eyes and smiled, "I like a girl who take initiative."  
Amanda sat her drink down on the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed her body against his and did the same with her lips. Amanda tasted like alcohol and cigarettes; and Jake didn't find it the least bit appealing. _'I wonder if I taste like that.' _He wondered as he ran his hand across her lower back. Jake continued to make out with her for the next few minutes until Amanda pulled away and placed her hands on his chest. "Want to get out of here?" She asked.  
"Um... Not really." Jake replied honestly, "I think I'm going to bail and go home."

When Jake entered his bedroom almost an hour later he was surprised to see that Fallyn was still awake. She was sitting on the floor leaning her head back onto the bed. Music was playing softly through the room and Fallyn's head rocked back and forth in time with it. "Why are you up so late?" Jake asked.  
Fallyn lifted her head up off the bed and checked the time on her phone. "It's only 3:00AM." She replied.  
Jake snorted, "Yeah only 3:00AM. What have you been doing?"  
"Listening to music."  
"Cool. Want to smoke?"  
Fallyn gave him a small smile and shook her head, "Not really."  
"Why not?"  
"I'm trying to get out the habit of hiding behind getting high."  
"Because Elijah wants you to?"  
Fallyn shook her head, "No because I want to."  
Jake nodded and walked over to the windowsill where his pipe was lying, waiting for him to use it again. He picked it up but sat it back down almost instantly. "You know. I don't really feel like smoking right now."  
Fallyn smiled and rested her head back on the bed. "This is an amazing song." She said as she pointed towards his stereo.  
"What is it?" Jake asked.  
"_God loves ugly_ by _Atmosphere_."  
Jake nodded and sat down on the floor next to her. "It sounds pretty dope." He said.  
Fallyn smiled, "it is. What's your favorite song?"  
Jake thought for a moment and smiled back at her, "_Almost Easy_ by _Avenged Sevenfold_."  
"_I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories, Selfish beneath the skin But deep inside I'm not insane_." Fallyn recited.  
Jake laughed, "Woah you know that song?"  
"Hell yeah. I'm surprised you do. I thought you listened to hip hop and stuff."  
Jake shrugged, "I'm full of surprises."  
He scooted closer to her and placed the tips of his fingers against the side of her jaw. He leaned in to her so that their lips were a mere inch from touching.  
"Jake." She whispered.  
"What?" He replied.  
"Remember what I said."  
"About what?" He asked as he moved a little closer to her.  
Fallyn placed her hand on his chest and lightly pushed him away.  
"Don't confuse yourself into thinking you like me."

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
it's still a new story soooo i'd really appreciate the feedback!  
AND ill love you more than Phil Harris loved Red Bull!**


	4. Chapter 4

_'I do not like her!'_ It was a phrase that Jake repeated to himself numerous times over the next few days. There was nothing to like about Fallyn; Jake couldn't stand her and that's how it had always been. _'Then why did I try and kiss her?'_ Jake couldn't figure it out for the life of him. Making a move on Fallyn was not something that he had planned. He didn't really even know it was happening until his lips were dangerously close to touching hers. What was bothering Jake the most was not that fact that Fallyn had turned him down it was what she had said days before it happened and then again right after _'Don't confuse yourself into thinking you like me.' _The first time she said it, it did little more than annoy him; but the second time she said it, it left Jake feeling uneasy. It was almost as if she had known Jake was going to make a move on her. But how could she know when even he didn't?

Jake entered his bedroom and found Fallyn standing next to her bed wearing nothing but a matching black panty and bra set. There were Neon green bows on each of her hip bones and on the piece of material that rested in the valley of her breasts. "Oh fuck... I'm sorry." Jake said without looking away from her. Her stomach was smooth and had graceful definition that Jake had never taken the time to notice before. Her breasts were large at least a large C cup and he knew it wasn't just because of the bra she was wearing.  
Fallyn shrugged, "it's cool."  
He was surprised by the fact that Fallyn didn't make the slightest attempt to cover herself. It was weird to Jake that someone in an abusive relationship could still have the confidence she had. Movies had always made women in her situation out to be helpless and weak with little to no confidence in themselves. Jake noticed that Fallyn was brimming with confidence whenever Elijah wasn't around and he hoped for her who sake he wouldn't return Fallyn's calls. Whether he liked her or hated her he still wasn't ok with Fallyn being treated like shit by her boyfriend. It had been two weeks and Elijah hadn't made a single attempt to get in contact with Fallyn. In Jake's opinion Fallyn seemed a lot happier without him but he had a feeling that she had just learned how to hide her feelings well.  
"You know how I feel about you being naked in my room." Jake replied.  
"I'm not naked and you know how I feel about you staring at me."  
"I'm not staring."  
Fallyn picked up her cell phone off of her bed and checked it for texts. She frowned for a moment but then tossed it back on the bed and plastered a smile back on her face. "And what exactly are you doing then?"  
Jake shrugged and walked past her. He climbed onto his bed and forced himself not to check out Fallyn from behind. _'I don't like her.'_ Jake told himself,_ 'Who wouldn't look if there was a practically naked girl in their room?'_

Fallyn slipped on her pajamas and sat cross legged on her bed. She picked up her cell phone for what had to be the hundredth time that day and looked down at the picture of her and Elijah that was set as the wallpaper. The fact that he hadn't called her was driving her crazy. He had said he needed a few days away from her not two weeks and Fallyn was missing him like crazy. Even though she knew thay didn't have the healthiest realtionship you can't force yourself to stop loving someone and Fallyn loved Elijah Snider with everything she had. "Fallyn." Jake said slowly, "Checking your phone every 10 seconds is not doing to making him call you any faster."  
"I know that Jacob." Fallyn snapped.  
"Then why do you keep doing it?"  
"I can't help it."  
"You don't need him."  
"Yes I do Jacob. You can stop pretending you care ok?"  
"I... I'm not pretending."  
Fallyn sat her phone down and looked up at him.  
"What?" She asked.  
"Just because we aren't friends doesn't mean I can't see what he's doing to you. You pretend that you're fine but as soon as you let your guard down you fall apart again. You don't deserve that."  
"Jake you don't even like me! Why does it matter?"  
"That doesn't mean I want to see you suffer! I'm not the devil Fallyn I have a heart too."  
Fallyn shook her head and looked down at her lap.  
"Thanks Jake but its not your problem. Don't worry about me." Fallyn laid down on her stomach and stared at the wall. She liked the fact that Jake was showing concern for her it made her feel good to know that someone besides Josh cared about her; Even if she only mattered to Jake a fraction of what she mattered to his brother. Still she wished that atleast one of them would try to understand her feelings. _'You don't even understand your feelings.' _She told herself.

Jake glanced over at Fallyn who was lying completely motionless on her bed. He looked up at the ceiling and ran his hands over his face. Jake was once again thinking about the fact he had tried to kiss her. "Fallyn."  
"What?" She replied as she turned her head to face him.  
"Why did you mean when you said not to confuse myself into thinking I liked you?"  
"Exactly what I said."  
Jake rolled his eyes, "but I don't understand what that means."  
"I just don't want you to think you like me."  
"Well that's pretty fucking presumptuous don't you think?" Jake snapped. His temper was rising and he wasn't completely sure why. He concluded it was because it was such a blunt thing for her to say.  
"It's just because your always staring at me." Fallyn said defensively as she propped herself up on her elbows, "I know you don't really like me but I also know that you subconsciously wouldn't mind adding me to your list of conquests. You know getting the girl who hates you into bed?"  
"That is bullshit."  
"Then why did you try and kiss me?"  
Jake's mind went blank. He couldn't believe that Fallyn had came outright and asked him that. "I... don't like you ok?"  
Fallyn laughed, "we established that years ago but that still doesn't answer my question."  
"I don't know. It was just in the moment I guess. I'm glad it didn't happen though."  
Fallyn smiled, "Me too." She laid down and turned back towards the wall, "Goodnight Jacob."

When Jake awoke the next morning Fallyn was sitting on the edge of her bed, quietly talking on the phone. Too lazy to get up; Jake laid still and listened to Fallyn's conversation. "I miss you." She said softly, "Will you pick me up?"  
_'Elijah.' _Jake thought darkly. Whatever his response was must have been what Fallyn wanted to hear because a smile spread across her face. "Ok babe." She said, "See you soon."  
Fallyn hung up and Jake found he was annoyed by the smile on Fallyn's face. "You're going to get back with him just like that?" Jake asked.  
"We weren't broken up." She replied, "he just needed some space."  
"Fallyn I thought you were smarter than this. He's playing some sick game with you. Who knows how many girls he hooks up with when he _'needs some space. _"  
"Jake you don't know me and you don't know him either."  
"Fallyn I'm just trying to help."  
"Well don't. I can make my own decisions."  
"You know what Fallyn fuck you. I don't care what he does to you anymore"

Fallyn fought back tears and quickly left the room. It was the first time since they'd known each other that Jake had actually hurt her feelings. Over the last few days she had been under the impression that they were actually starting to get along, maybe not get along but they certainly had stopped screaming at each other. Fallyn quickly showered and when she returned to the bedroom to get dressed she was relieved to see that Jake was gone. She pulled on a short floral print dress and a pair of black _Toms_. After brushing through her hair Fallyn went downstairs to wait for Elijah. She had been beyond happy when Elijah had called her that morning and now Jake left her feeling doubtful and angry. She saw Jake sitting on the couch as she walked past the living room but chose not to acknowledge him. Fallyn slipped outside and stood on the porch. _'Fuck you too Jake.'_ She thought bitterly.

_'How stupid can you be?' _Jake wondered as the front door opened and closed. He found that for some reason he was pissed off at Fallyn. _'Next time Elijah hurts her I'm not even going to try and help her.' _He told himself. Jake heard Elijah's truck pull up and turned up the volume on the tv so he didn't have to listen to the engine roar from outside. Jake stretched out across the couch and focused his attention on a cheesy reality show. Not 5 minutes later Josh appeared and knocked Jake's legs off of the couch before sitting down next to him. "Where is Fallyn?" Josh asked.  
"Elijah just picked her up."  
"Are you serious?"  
"No I was joking." Jake said sarcastically.  
"I thought they broke up!"  
"Nah. She's never going to break up with him Josh."  
Josh shook his head, "For someone so smart she makes a lot of stupid fucking decisions."  
"Its her life let her do what she wants." Jake said as he placed his hands behind his head and put his feet up on the coffee table. Josh stood up and glared at his little brother, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what it was like to care about someone other than yourself!"  
"You don't even know me!" Jake yelled as he stood up and faced his brother.  
"You're my brother I know you a lot better than you think."  
"Fuck you Josh."  
Jake turned to leave the living room, thinking of a million harmful things he would have liked to do to his brother. "Yeah go upstairs and get high!" Josh called after him, "Dad would be real proud!"

Jake turned around and stormed back over to his brother. He shoved him as hard as he could causing Josh's leg to slam into the coffee table.  
"Don't you dare throw dad in my face like that." Jake said breathing heavily.  
"Well it's true." Josh said simply, "While everyone else finished up Opies for him where the hell were you? Then after that you disappeared for a month without telling anywhere where you were going! If dad were here he would kick your ass and you know it."  
"Well excuse me for not wanting to get back on the boat right after dad died! You're right I'm a horrible fucking excuse for a son. Too bad you weren't the only child because your so goddamn perfect."  
"That's not what I mean Jacob."  
"I don't give a fuck what you meant. Stay the hell away from me and I'll stay away from you."  
Jake stormed upstairs to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. It was times like these that Jake couldn't stand his brother. Josh partied just as much as Jake did but when something bad happened he made it sound like Jake was the only one; and of course everybody believed him. They saw what the wanted to see, Josh was the responsible level headed one while Jake was the hot tempered one on drugs. Jake had always felt second best to his brother and he was tired of it. Instead of making building Jake up Josh made him want to throw away the fact he hadn't smoked in more than a week and light up again right then. _'How could he say I don't care about anyone but myself?' _Jake wondered as he sat down on his bed. _'Just because I don't wear my fucking heart on my sleeve like he does doesn't mean I don't care.' _Jake looked at the empty bed across from him and found himself feeling guilty for how he had blown up on Fallyn that morning.

Fallyn sat down on the couch and rested her head on Elijah's shoulder. "I missed you." She said.  
"I missed you too babe." He replied.  
"What have you been up to?"  
"Working on my car."  
"Oh." Fallyn said unenthusiastically. _'Of course.'_  
"Hey.. Let's go to your room." She said softly.  
A smile spread across Elijah's face, "Why?"  
"You know why." Fallyn said as she gently bit his ear lobe. Elijah stood up and pulled Fallyn up with him. "That's my girl." He said softly. He picked her up effortlessly and threw her over his shoulder; then carried her to his bedroom. Elijah dropped her onto the bed and hovered over her. He pushed her dress up over her breasts and Fallyn stretched her arms over her head as Elijah kissed along her stomach. She had thrust her hand under the pillow and felt something that didn't belong. Fallyn balled the tiny bundle of material in her hand and pulled it out from under the pillow. She looked at it for a moment and then tossed it aside in disgust. Fallyn pushed Elijah away from her by his shoulders and sat up.  
"What the hell is that?" Fallyn said angrily as she pointed at the lace purple thong she has just found. "What are you talking about?" He said as he looked at the thong and then back at her with little expression on his face.  
"Who's underwear is that?" Fallyn yelled. She was so angry tears were beginning to pool in her eyes.  
"They're yours baby." Elijah responded with a perfectly straight face.  
"I... I don't wear thongs.. and I think I would know if I left your house without my underwear."  
"What are you trying to say?" Elijah snapped. Fallyn immediately scooted a few inches away from him. His temper was rising and she wished she had kept her mouth closed.  
"I..." She began, but couldn't think of nothing else to say.  
"Are you accusing me of cheating on you?"  
"No... I just."  
"So they are your underwear then?" Elijah said simply. It was more of a statement then a question and she knew he would only accept one answer from her.  
"Yeah they're mine."  
Never had Fallyn been more ashamed of herself than in that moment. She had just found out Elijah was cheating on her and then let him get away with it. Fallyn had never thought of herself as abused until that moment. It was a whole new low to admit to something that she and Elijah both knew she was lying about.  
"I thought so." Elijah replied as he slid her underwear down her legs.

Fallyn allowed Elijah to have sex with her but tears leaked down the corners of her eyes the entire time. She could think of nothing but who he had been doing the same thing to and she wondered if he treated the nameless girl the same as he treated her. The idea of Elijah treating some random girl better than her was not something Fallyn could handle and she squeezed her eyes shut to keep more tears from escaping. _'I'm so stupid.' _Fallyn thought bitterly. Everything Jake and Josh had said to her was true and it was a hard pill to swallow. When Elijah climbed off of her Fallyn curled into a ball and turned away from him. Elijah pressed himself against her and wrapped his arm around her.  
"You know I love you Fallyn." He said huskily.  
"I know." She replied, but Elijah didn't seem to notice how hollow she sounded.

When Elijah dropped Fallyn off she hurried up the driveway and into the house. She found Josh in the kitchen sitting at the Island. "What's wrong?" She asked as she sat across from him. "I got in a fight with Jake." He replied as he stabbed his food moodily with his fork.  
"About what?"  
Josh sighed, "he's just so stubborn. He never talks about dad its like he won't even let his death affect him and all he cares about is getting high."  
"It does affect him."  
Josh raised his eyebrows, "How do you know?"  
"I just do. It's killing him. He just doesn't know how to talk about it with you."  
"He could talk to me if he wanted."  
Fallyn reached out and rested her hand on Josh's arm, "You have to admit you do jump down his throat a lot."  
"Well I don't mean to."  
"I know you don't Josh."  
Fallyn stood up and kissed Josh on the cheek, "He hasn't smoked in more than a week you know. Maybe you should give him a little more credit."  
Josh's face fell and he looked away from her.  
"I didn't know that." He mumbled.  
"Maybe you should ask him next time."  
Josh nodded and pushed his plate away from him. He stood up and pulled Fallyn into a hug. "Jake told me you went with Elijah."  
"Yeah." Fallyn replied, immediately feeling herself getting upset again.  
"Maybe I should add accepting the fact your with him to my list." Josh suggested.  
"Yeah maybe."  
Fallyn decided not to tell Josh about Elijah cheating on her when he was still so upset about his brother. Deep down however she knew she was merely using that as an excuse and she had no real intentions of telling Josh at all.

Jake looked up as his bedroom door opened and was relieved to see it was Fallyn and not Josh.  
"Hey." She said softly.  
"Hey." He replied.  
"I hate when you do that!" Jake said as she pulled her dress over her head and dropped it on the floor. "Get over it." Fallyn replied as she began searching for pajamas. When she pulled a t-shirt over her head and sat down Jake was mildly surprised by the fact they were both smiling.  
"Listen.." He began slowly, "I'm sorry about this morning.  
Fallyn shrugged, "its ok you were right."  
Jacob waited for her to elaborate but she didn't say anything else.  
"I didn't want to be right." He added still not sure what exactly he said that Fallyn was referring too.  
Fallyn cocked her head to the side and smiled, "I think I realized today that I shouldn't be with him. I just need to find a way to end it."  
"Well Josh will have your back... I will too."  
"That means a lot... Coming from you."  
Jake smirked, "I know."  
"Maybe you should try opening up to your brother Jacob."  
Jake was caught of guard. She had just changed the course of their conversation without even a hint of warning, and Jake didn't like where it was going. "Why?" He asked.  
"I know you get mad that he doesn't understand you but I don't think you understand him either."  
"I don't want to understand him."  
"Well he wants to understand you."  
"Really?"  
"No I made it up." Fallyn said sarcastically.  
Jake laughed and flipped her off. He watched as she brushed through her hair and then pulled it up into a pony tail.  
Fallyn sighed, "There you go staring again."  
"Fuck off Fallyn." He replied, but there was no anger in his voice. Jake laid down and turned away from Fallyn. He pulled his blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes. _'Fuck.' _He thought to himself, _'I do like her.'_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!  
i'll love you more than Edgar loves to piss off Sig! (:  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

_I have been a world apart  
Stuck in between time.  
Head into the ground I'm found  
Falling through fault lines.  
I feel see through.  
Can you see through me?_

_**The Fear of Being Found - Blaqk Audio**_

_'What the fuck was wrong with me?' _Jake wondered as he watched Fallyn apply red lipstick. How could he have known her for so long and not realized how beautiful she was. He remembered whenever any of his friends would call her hot not only would he would think they were blind but he would also think they were crazy. Now however Jake knew he was the one who was blind. Everything about Fallyn was beautiful all the way down to her chipped nail polish. She was half Ukrainian half spanish and her skin reminded Jake of ivory. Her eyes were so green he wouldn't have believed they were real if he hadn't known her since he was twelve. Jake didn't understand how he could have ever thought they were ordinary when clearly they were so much more. He could have looked at Fallyn's eyes for hours if only she would allow him to. Then of course there was Fallyn's body. Jake's jeans grew uncomfortably tight just thinking about it. For someone who was only 95lbs Fallyn was still blessed with graceful curves. At the moment Jake would have liked nothing more than to run his hands over her body. Before he hated the fact that Fallyn changed in front of him and now he absolutely despised it. She was teasing him beyond comprehension and Jake had to wonder if Fallyn knew what she was doing to him. Fallyn slowly twisted her lipstick tube and placed the top back on as she rubbed her lips together.  
"Jacob." She said when she was finished.  
"What?" He replied.  
"This staring thing has got to stop."  
"I'm not!" Jake said angrily.  
"Then what are you doing?"  
"I was just wondering why you're wearing lipstick the same color as your stupid hair."  
"Because it looks good." Fallyn said with a sly smile. Jake smirked. He was really beginning to like Fallyn's confidence he had for years mistaken for cockiness. Jake's eyebrows furrowed as Fallyn walked to the mirror that hung on the back of the bedroom door and checked her reflection. She was wearing a striped navy and white dress that hugged her body in a way that drove Jake crazy and a pair of red _Toms._  
"Why are you checking yourself out if you're just going to break up with him?"  
Fallyn bit her lip and shrugged, "I don't know."  
Jake rolled his eyes and tore his gaze away from her. It had taken a weeks worth of his encouragement to get Fallyn to agree to go break up with Elijah, but the look on her face told Jake she was having second thoughts.  
"Fallyn." He said calmly, "Relax. It will be fine."  
"Jake I can't do it." She replied. Fallyn turned to face him and nervously shifted her weight to each foot.  
"You have to Fallyn."  
Jake had not yet told Fallyn the reason he was so eager for her to leave Elijah was not just for her own benefit. However Jake did not have the courage to tell Fallyn how he felt just for her to laugh in his face. Still, he figured his chances were better with Elijah out of the picture. "Why?" Fallyn said softly as she sat down next to Jake.  
"He is abusing you! Do you want to live your life like this forever Fallyn? You're always scared and walking around on eggshells because you don't want to upset him. You deserve better than that."  
A wide smile spread across Fallyn's face and she nudged him with her shoulder, "You really think so?"  
"Yeah I do."  
"Thanks Jacob."  
Fallyn stood up and grabbed her leather jacket off of her bed. She pulled it on and flipped her hair out of the collar as she walked to the door.  
"Wish me luck." She said over her shoulder as she exited the room.  
"Good luck." Jake replied softly but Fallyn was already gone.

Fallyn climbed into her _95' Toyota Camry_ and jammed the key into the ignition. It sputtered weakly for a few long seconds and then roared to life. "Thank god." She mumbled as she pulled out of the driveway. She hated her car and avoided driving it as much as possible; it was a piece of junk and was very likely going to die completely any day. However Fallyn wasn't willing to let Elijah pick her up on that particular morning. If she really did work up the courage to break up with him she didn't want to be stranded at his house. Fallyn tried listening to her favorite cd but at the moment found it irksome and turned the volume all the way down. Her heart hammered and her palms sweated as she drive; she regretted putting on that _'damn leather jacket.'_

When she pulled up to Elijah's house he was outside washing his car and Fallyn was unable to suppress a groan of disgust. Elijah smiled in her direction as she walked up the driveway. "You look good today Ma'" he said when Fallyn reached him.  
"Thanks Eli." She replied. Elijah pulled her into a tight one armed hug and Fallyn took in the familiar scent of old spice and whatever chemicals he had just used on his car.  
"Why don't you wait for me inside." He said, "I'll be done in a few minutes."  
Fallyn nodded and walked the rest of the way up the driveway by herself. She walked straight to his bedroom and sat down on the edge of his bed. Her nerves had increased tenfold since she arrived at Elijah's house. Fallyn absentmindedly played with a piece of paper on Elijah's bed while she waited. She felt sick to her stomach as she imagined Elijah's reaction to what she had to tell him. The piece of paper slid out of her fingers and slowly fluttered to the floor; Fallyn bent over and picked it up. She looked at for the first time and felt anger bubble in the pit of her stomach as she scanned over it. She crumpled it into a ball and stood up just as Elijah entered the room. Fallyn threw it at him as hard as she could and it bounced lightly off his chest. "What the hell?" Elijah said angrily after watching it land on the floor.  
"Who's number is that?" Fallyn screamed.  
"It's my friend's." Elijah said without a hint of worry or discomfort.  
"I'm tired of you lying to me!"  
Elijah advanced on Fallyn so that he was hovering above her, "You better calm the fuck down!"  
"No!"  
"Excuse me?"  
"I'm tired of you and all your bullshit!" Fallyn walked around him and grabbed her bag off of his dresser, "I'm breaking up with you."  
Elijah grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. Fallyn was surprised by the look on his face. It was the first time she had seen him look worried in years. "What did you just say?" He asked quietly.  
"I'm breaking up with you. I can't take this anymore."  
Elijah wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "Please don't do this to me." He pleaded, "I need you."  
Fallyn attempted to pull away but Elijah was too strong. "If you needed me you wouldn't treat me like shit all the time."  
"I'll change. I swear to god I'll change. I love you so much Fall. I can't live without you. How can you do this to me? Don't you love me too?"  
"Of course I love you Elijah."  
"Then why are you doing this? Give me another chance."  
Fallyn sighed and stopped struggling to get away from him. "Don't make me look stupid Elijah."  
"I won't baby."

Jake stood up as Fallyn's car pulled into the driveway. Night had fallen hours before and he had been starting to worry. Twenty minutes passed and Fallyn had still had come up stairs. Jake cursed his older brother; he was surely downstairs distracting her. After another ten minutes Fallyn opened the bedroom door and slipped inside. Her expression was unreadable and Jake waited anxiously for her to tell him what happened. "How did it go?" He asked when his patience wore thin. Fallyn sighed and strode over to him. She threw herself onto his bed and covered her face with her hands. "Tell me." Jake said impatiently as he lent back and rested his wait on his elbow. Fallyn lowered her hands and looked up at him. "I didn't do it..."  
"What?"  
"Well I did it... but then I backed out. He guilt tripped me and I couldn't help it!"  
Jake sat up so that he didn't have to look at her and shook his head. "That was really stupid." He said quietly. Jake couldn't believe what she had just told him. They had gone over the plan so many times and Jake had told her on more than one occasion Elijah would likely try and make her feel guilty; and she still gave in. Jake couldn't believe it and he found that he was beyond angry with Fallyn. He had been anxiously waiting for her to come home all day with news of her break up and now he was feeling let down.  
"He told me he would change." Fallyn said as she sat up next to him.  
Jake pointedly looked away from her, "he lied."  
"Maybe he meant it this time Jacob. He looked like he was about to cry."  
"Are you retarded?" Jake asked venomously, "If you believe that shit than you're dumber than I thought." Jake felt a sick satisfaction as he turned his head to look at Fallyn and saw tears forming in her eyes. "Jake..." She said softly, "I thought we were becoming..."  
"Becoming what?" Jake said angrily, cutting her off."  
"Friends."  
The simple word made Jake's blood boil and he had to fight the urge to scream at her,  
"Well you were wrong."

Jake stood up and left the room leaving Fallyn in shock. She forced herself not to cry but it was no easy task; a bad day had just gotten much worse. Fallyn crawled off of Jake's bed and into her own. She stared up at the ceiling and was consumed by a whirl wind of emotions. She was disappointed in herself for forgiving Elijah. It was the one thing she had been telling herself for days not to do. She was tired of the hold he had over her and found she was already plotting on how to try breaking up with him again. And then there was Jake. Never in her life had she met someone with more mood swings. Over the last few days she had really believed that they were becoming friends. She was saddened in a way that Elijah had inflicted upon her many times. Just when she thought she and Jake were forgetting their differences it blew up in her face. _'Don't worry about him.' _She told herself firmly. Elijah was a much more pressing problem at the moment. Fallyn climbed out of bed and slipped her shoes back on. She hurried down the hall, ignoring Josh who called after her from his room and down the stairs. Fallyn ignored Jake's dirty look as she passed the living room and strode quickly outside to her car. After whining weakly for nearly a minute the car started and Fallyn pulled out of the driveway. _'Lord help me.' _She thought to herself as she began driving to Elijah's house.

She knocked on Elijah's door for several minutes before he finally pulled it open wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants. "What are you doing here babe?" He asked.  
"I made a mistake today." She replied quickly.  
"I know but I forgive you."  
Fallyn's eyes widened. "You forgive me?" She asked. Fallyn must have misheard him, there was no possible way he really believed he was the one who should be doing the forgiving.  
"Yeah you weren't thinking clearly." He said with a smile.  
"You're right." She said angrily, "I wasn't thinking clearly!"  
Elijah raised his eye brows, "I don't understand?"  
"I can't take you back Eli. I don't want to be with you anymore."  
Fallyn turned and walked back to her car before her words could really impact Elijah. She had just gotten into her car and closed the door when he began racing down the drive way towards her. The look on his face terrified her and she quickly started her car before he could punch out her window. As she drove tears poured down her face and she could barely see where she was going. She was filled with a remarkable sense of relief but at the same time her heart was broken. Elijah was the first man Fallyn ever loved and a large part of her wanted to turn the car around and drive back to his house.

When Fallyn returned home she tip toed down the hall so Josh wouldn't hear her, but upon peaking into his room found that he was fast asleep anyway. She slowly turned the handle to Jake's door and slid inside. The lights were off but due to the lack of soft snores she knew Jake was lying awake.  
"Jacob." She said as she stood beside his bed.  
There was a small amount of light coming in through the window and Fallyn could just make out that Jake's eyes were open. As she stepped closer she saw him close his eyes. "Jacob." She repeated and waited for his response once more.  
Again she was disappointed. "I just broke up with Elijah. It would mean a lot if you would talk to me." She continued. Fallyn's lip began to tremble as she stood in the darkness and listened to nothing but silence. Fallyn turned away from him and climbed into bed without bothering to remove her clothing. "I hope you decide to be my friend again in the morning." Fallyn said before pulling her blanket over her head.

For the next two weeks Jake treated Fallyn the same as when she first moved in and she was surprised by how much it hurt her. It was the quickest she had ever gained and lost a friend. _A friend_. Could she really even call the few days they didn't scream at each other a friendship? What was also plaguing her was the loss of Elijah. She was mourning their relationship almost like he had really passed away. Fallyn didn't know what to do without him and the fact he called her at least a dozen times a day didn't help. It killed her not to answer. With him gone she had nobody to talk to. Josh tried, but he had utterly no desire to discuss Elijah with her and Fallyn decided it was best not to make him suffer. She was living in a house with two other people but Fallyn felt completely alone. Each day she was more depressed and it was a chore just getting herself out of bed.

Jake was sitting on the couch watching tv holding a beer loosely in his hand. He could hear Fallyn listening to music upstairs in his room and he felt nothing but anger at the thought of her. Although he knew she hadn't personally done anything wrong to him he couldn't bring himself to even talk to her. He didn't even care that she had broken up with Elijah. Jake was holding an animosity towards her that even he wasn't completely sure where it came from. However every time he thought about it the word _'friend.'_ floated back into his mind. Jake took a swig of his beer and sat the empty bottle down on the coffee table. He would have hated to admit it but part of him had actually started to believe that Fallyn had at least a small crush on him too and the word friend was like a punch to the stomach. Jake looked up as Fallyn entered the living room and only spared her a glance before looking back at the tv.  
"Jacob." She said.  
"What?" He replied darkly.  
"Would... Would you... If I wasn't around anymore would you care?"  
Jake rolled his eyes and looked up at her. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He said icily.  
Fallyn shook her head and looked down at the ground, "Never mind its not important."  
Fallyn turned and left the room without another word. "Whatever." Jake mumbled under his breath as he looked back at the tv. He tried to focus on the made for tv movie he was watching for the next half an hour but he had an unsettling feeling that he couldn't get rid of. _'What the hell is wrong with Fallyn?' _Jake wondered savagely, _'She doesn't make sense.' _Then he remembered something, and when he did it he felt like he had been doused in cold water.

_"What really bothers me is that my brother asked me if I loved him the day before he did it. I told him to 'stop being stupid'. How hard would it have been for me just to say yes? Not hard at all. I'll regret saying that one sentence for the rest of my life."_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than Sig Hansen loves chocolate**_


	6. Chapter 6

Jake raced out of the living room and up the stairs so quick he almost stumbled several times. How long had it been since he last spoke to Fallyn? A half hour? 45 minutes? It was just enough time for Fallyn to do something stupid that she couldn't take back. _'No.' _He told himself as he reached his bedroom door, _'she's fine.' _Jake hesitated and then pushed open the door. "Fuck!" He said aloud upon seeing the room was empty. He turned and ran to the bathroom; Jake turned the handle and was unsurprised to see that it was locked. "Fallyn open the door!" He demanded. Jake's heart hammered as he waited for a response that never came. "Fallyn!" He yelled, "open the fucking door!" I'm not kidding!" Jake was almost sobbing by the time he finished the sentence. Jake slowly backed away from the door; he had lived in that house his whole life and he knew all it would take was one good shove for the door to swing open. He and Josh had busted through the door many times during their childhood just to piss each other off. Jake used all his weight to slam his shoulder against the door and was unsurprised when it swung open. However he was unprepared for what was in front of him. Fallyn was sitting on the edge of the bathtub staring up at the ceiling and twirling a silver razorblade loosely in her right hand. Blood swam down her left arm and dripped off of her fingertips. "Fallyn." Jake said hoarsely, unable to think of anything else to say. Fallyn slowly looked at him and Jake felt sick to his stomach. Her eyes were swollen and red and her mascarra had run down her face. She looked away from him and back at the ceiling. "Go away." She said softly. Jake stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He grabbed a towel off of the counter and sat on the ledge next to Fallyn. Jake grabbed her arm and began wiping away the blood.  
"Leave me alone Jacob!" Fallyn said angrily as she tried to pull away from him.  
"No." Jake said firmly. Fallyn squirmed as Jake applied pressure to her fresh cuts.  
"Why did you do this?" Jake continued.  
"It's not like this is the first time!"  
"I don't care! You scared the shit out of me!"  
"Whatever Jacob. You don't give a fuck about me. You've proven that."  
"That is bullshit!" Jack said loudly. His eyes had begun to fill with tears and he stood up so Fallyn wouldn't see.  
"I thought you..." Jake's voice broke and he couldn't continue any furthur. Fallyn stood up, clutching the towel to her arm and walked around Jake so that he was once again facing her. Jake was embarrassed by the tears that had escaped his eyes and he looked down at the floor in hopes of hiding them from Fallyn.  
"You thought that I what?" Fallyn asked.  
"I thought..." Jake began slowly, "that you were going to... Kill yourself."  
Jake looked up at Fallyn and saw shock register on her face once she realized he was crying. "Why would you think that?" She asked.  
"You asked me if I would care if you were gone and I didn't answer. It was the same thing that happened with your brother. I just thought..."  
Jake's sentence trailed off and he wiped his tears on his sleeve.  
"I don't have that type of courage Jake."  
The sentence left Jake feeling unsettled but he was unsure how to respond. His eyes traveled to the blood soaked towel that Fallyn was clutching to her arm.  
"How can you do that to yourself?" He asked.  
Fallyn shrugged, "it's a lot easier than you'd think."  
Jake shook his head, "I don't want to see you like this..." He paused, "_ever_ again."  
"Why does it even matter? It doesn't affect you."  
"It does affect me Fallyn. Something changed and I care about you. You're my friend now."  
Fallyn's face lit up upon hearing the word friend. "Really? You consider me a friend?"  
Jake nodded. He wondered how she could look him dead in the eyes and not see that he wanted to be so much more than her friend. Even with tear streaked make up down her face Jake thought she was beautiful. In the past he would have thought she looked horrid but now he saw an angel. A _fallen_ angel who just needed some help getting back on her feet. "I need to get out of here Jake." Fallyn said, "I need to get out of this house! I feel trapped and I need to go somewhere far away from Eli."  
"I can get you a hotel room for the night if you want."  
Fallyn shook her head, "I'm not talking about just one night. I need to get away for a while and get my head on straight. I feel like I'm falling apart."  
Jake thought for a moment and then dragged Fallyn to the sink so she could rinse off her arm. "I know a place you can go."  
"Where?"  
"Pops bought a cabin up in the woods a few years ago. That's where I was when I was gone for a month."  
"You'll take me there?" Fallyn asked as she held her arm under the faucet.  
"Yeah."  
"Will you stay with me?"  
Jake didn't even have to think about his answer, "Yes."  
"When can we leave?"  
"How fast can you get packed?"  
Fallyn smiled and relief spread across her face, "Pretty quick. I should shower first though."  
"We should also wait until Josh leaves again. He'll be home soon and he'll try and stop us."  
Fallyn nodded and gave Jake a soft kiss on the cheek making blush creep up his face.  
"Thank you for... You know caring." She whispered.  
"I didn't have a choice." He replied.

Jake sat on the edge of his bed waiting for Fallyn to finish showering. There was dried blood on the sleeve of his sweatshirt and looking at it made him feel nauseous. It wasn't the blood itself that made Jake woozy it was the thought of Fallyn locked in the bathroom carving into herself. He never understood how people could hurt themselves that way but for the first time he wanted to. There had to be a better way for her to deal with her feelings. _'Yeah like doing drugs.' _Jake thought darkly. Jake heard his brother's car pull into the driveway and felt his chest tighten with anxiety. He didn't even want to imagine how angry Josh would be once they left. Jake felt a little guilty for not filling his brother in but as far as he was concerned getting Fallyn to the cabin was much for important. He was willing to deal with the repercussions, whatever they were when they came.

When Fallyn was finished showering she wrapped the towel tightly around herself and grabbed a handful of bandages then applied them to her fresh wounds. It wasn't that they particularly hurt she just hated looking at them. It was the same every single time she cut herself. For a few minutes she would feel relief but then she would be engulfed by shame. This time however she also felt embarrassed. Why did Jake of all people have to be the one to catch her cutting? She was at her lowest point whenever she cut and Fallyn never wanted Jake to see her like that. The fact that she had seen Jake cry was mind blowing and even more so was the fact it was because of her. Over the last two weeks Jake had treated her like absolute garbage and she had been convinced he hated her. Now she wasn't sure what he felt about her, but he cared and that was more than enough for Fallyn. When she returned to the room Jake was gone and she was able to change in peace. She glanced out of the window and as much as she loved Josh was disappointed that his car was there. Fallyn wanted him to leave so she and Jake could leave to the cabin. Never in a million years would she have guessed that when she finally broke down and needed an escape Jake Harris would be the person she asked to go with her; but she had learned years before that her life was anything but predictable.

After pulling on a dress and covering her bandages with bracelets she headed downstairs. She found both Jake and Josh standing in the kitchen eating chips out of a large bowl. Since their argument the boys had been overly nice to each other and even though Fallyn preferred it to listening to them fight she knew that neither of them had made any steps to solve their issues with each other. "What's going on?" Josh asked as she entered the kitchen.  
"Nothing why?" Fallyn replied instantly.  
Josh raised his eye brows, "No reason. I just haven't seen you all day."  
Fallyn smiled, "Oh well then nothing really."  
Josh's eyes landed on Fallyn's bracelet laden arm.  
"Why are you wearing all those bracelets?" He asked.  
Fallyn shrugged, "because they are cute obviously."  
Josh studied her for a moment and Fallyn did her best to keep her face unreadable. There would be hell to pay if Josh found out she had cut herself.  
Finally Josh smiled and rolled his eyes, "Obviously." He echoed, "how silly of me."  
"I'll let it slide this time."  
"Oh how kind."  
"What are you doing tonight Josh?" Jake cut in.  
Josh turned his attention to his brother and shoved more chips in his mouth before answering.  
"I think I'm going to take this girl Sarah out. Why?"  
"Just curious."  
"Oh I'm sure that's the reason." Josh said sarcastically.  
Jake shrugged, "Don't believe me then I don't give two shits either way."  
Jake grabbed a handful of chips and made his way out of the kitchen. On his way out his eyes locked on Fallyn's and she knew she needed to be packed by the time Josh went on his date. "I love you Josh." Fallyn said once she heard Jake walking up the stairs.  
"What's up with you?" Josh responded.  
Fallyn smiled, "Nothing. I just thought I should tell you."  
"Oh. Well then I love you too."  
"Well..." Fallyn said quickly, "I'm going upstairs."  
Fallyn turned and left the room leaving Josh with an confused expression on his face. "Bye." Josh mumbled under his breath as he watched her leave.

As soon as Fallyn got back upstairs she pulled her suitcase out from under her bed and began packing. _'Josh is going to kill me.'_ She thought wearily as she shoved a handful of underwear into the suitcase. _'He'll get over it.'_ She told herself,_ 'I'll just explain everything to him later.'  
_Fallyn looked up at Jake and saw that he was lying on his bed instead of packing. "What are you doing?" Fallyn asked.  
"Trying to sleep." Jake replied.  
"Shouldn't you be packing?"  
"Nah. It will only take me a few minutes. I want to rest up before we leave. We've got a long drive ahead of us."  
"Oh joy." Fallyn said sarcastically.  
Jake smiled and then rolled over so that his face was buried into the pillow. It wasn't long before soft snores drifted to Fallyn from Jake's side of the room. When she was satisfied with the amount of clothes she had packed she laid down on her bed and drummed her fingers on her stomach. Fallyn felt drained and she wished she could have fallen asleep as easily as Jake; but she was anxious to leave as soon as possible.

Jake felt like he had only been asleep for half an hour when he woke up to Fallyn shaking him awake. "What?" He groaned.  
"Josh just left!" She replied, "You need to hurry up and pack so we can leave."  
"Fine." Jake mumbled as he climbed out of bed.  
He pulled a duffel bag out of his closet and within minutes it was filled with a random assortment of clothes. Jake grabbed his toothbrush and deodorant from the bathroom and tossed them on top the mass of clothes. "Ok I'm ready."  
Fallyn smiled and pulled a sweatshirt over her head. "Me too." Jake tossed Fallyn his car keys and she dragged her suitcase down the stairs.  
Jake smiled at the obnoxious amount of noise she made on her way down. He couldn't believe they were doing this. Josh was going to be beyond shocked and confused once he realized what they had done. Jake scribbled his brother a quick note explaining that they had left but not where they had left to and stuck it to the fridge where Josh would surely see it. He made his way outside and climbed into his truck. He looked over at Fallyn who was curled up in the seat with the hood from her sweatshirt pulled over her head.  
"You sure about this?" Jake asked.  
"Positive." Fallyn replied, "just drive."

They drove for hours only stopping to get groceries and firewood. Fallyn had been asleep for the better part of two hours and Jake began to grow bored. "Fallyn!" He shouted. Fallyn jumped and frantically looked around. "What's wrong?" She asked.  
"Nothing. But if I'm driving you to the woods you better at least stay awake."  
Fallyn yawned and then smiled, "Sorry Jake. Hey did you bring your phone with you?"  
"Nope. Did you?"  
"Well I was going to but as soon as I picked it up Elijah called me. I took it as a sign I should leave it behind."  
"We wouldn't have got reception anyway. There is a pay phone not far from the cabin."  
"Is there a lake?" Fallyn asked.  
Jake smiled, "You knew pops do you really think he would have bought a cabin anywhere there wasn't one?"  
"Touche."  
Jake laughed. _'Damn she's cute.' _He thought to himself; He would have been a liar if he said he wasn't hoping that something would happen between them while they were by themselves in the cabin. Unfortunately the cabin had two bedrooms so there was no need for them to continue sharing one. Jake never would have guessed that he would actually be sad about sleeping in a room without Fallyn.

When the arrived at the cabin it was pitch black outside and Fallyn was glad they would be staying inside instead of outside with whatever creatures were lurking just out of sight. Jake lugged their bags out of the car and Fallyn followed him up the steps. She held on to his arm as they walked inside so she didn't trip in fall. "Wait here." Jake said as he closed the door behind them, "I've got to go turn the power on." Jake pulled his arm out of Fallyn's grasp and then disappeared. Fallyn stood alone in the dark for what seemed like forever. She was cold and wanted nothing more than for Jake to start a fire. Fallyn squinted when the lights finally turned on as she tried to adjust to the light. When her eyes stopped streaming Fallyn looked around at her surroundings. It was decorated flawlessly and Fallyn suspected that Phil had hired someone to do it for him. Photos of the three Harris men lined the walls and Fallyn stepped closer to examine them. She paused as she reached a picture of Jake holding a large King Crab with a smile on his face. Fallyn bit her lip as she studied the photo. Jake was kind of _'cute.'_ Fallyn rolled her eyes, _'no way.'_ She told herself. Fallyn turned her back on the photo just as the real Jake Harris entered the room. Jake smiled as he realized what she had just been looking at. "Looking at pictures of me I see." He said.  
"I glanced at it." She replied.  
"You don't have to lie. I can sign a copy for you if you want."  
Fallyn snorted, "Yeah right."

Jake headed outside to grab the groceries and firewood while Fallyn plopped down on the couch. She couldn't wait until morning when she could explore outside without worrying about getting attacked by some rogue animal; she also couldn't wait to get in that lake. Luckily she had brought her swimming suit just in case. Fallyn found that she already loved the cabin. She hadn't been there more than twenty minutes but already felt relaxed. When Jake returned she followed him to the kitchen to help him put the groceries away. As they talked she looked at him and felt she was really seeing him for the first time. Fallyn finally understood why girls thought he was attractive. He was slim but carried himself as if he was the biggest thing around, his hazel eyes were riddled with mischief, the smirk that Fallyn had for years thought was annoying seemed oddly cute, and never before had his laugh been so infectious. _'It's just Jake.'_ Fallyn told herself, _'You're only thinking this way because you miss Eli.'_

Much to Fallyn's pleasure when they finished putting the groceries away Jake started a fire.  
Fallyn laid on her back on a rug in front of the fire and Jake sat down next to her and leaned against the couch. Her eyes traveled around the room and once again landed on the picture of Jake holding the King crab. "Do you miss it? Fishing I mean." She said.  
"Not really." Jake replied.  
"I thought you loved it."  
"Nah. I loved being put there with pops."  
"What are you going to do when October comes?"  
"I'm going to do what dad would have wanted me to do and get back on the Cornelia Marie."  
"Are you scared?"  
Jake gave her a small smile, "To death. I don't know what we're going to do out there without him."  
"I'm sure you'll be fine."  
"I hope so. I just want to make him proud you know?"  
Jake rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head, "For once." He added darkly. Fallyn reached out and squeezed Jake's hand. She was completely oblivious to the fact of how hard she was making his heart pound.  
"You will." She said softly, "You're a good guy Jacob. Maybe you should stop trying so hard to hide it."  
Jake grinned, "Thanks Fallyn. You're not too bad either... I guess."  
Fallyn laughed and sat up, "It would kill you not to add a snide remark at the end of everything wouldn't it?"  
Jake smirked, "I don't want to find out."  
Fallyn ran her hands through her hair and cocked her head to the side. "You never cease to amaze me."  
Jake's smile fell off of his face, "You amaze me too Fallyn."  
Fallyn raised her eye brows, his signature hint of sarcasm seemed to be missing and his expression was unreadable.  
"Jake." She said.  
"What?" Jake replied a bit too quickly.  
"I'm tired. Will you show me my room?"  
"Oh... Yeah sure."

Jake grabbed her suitcase and carried it up the stairs, Fallyn following close behind. _'You amaze me too Fallyn.' _It repeated over and over in his head. _'What the hell is wrong with me?' _Jake wondered,_ 'I probably freaked her out now. Great.'  
_Jake entered the room and clicked on the light. "Here you go." He said as he dropped her suitcase on the king sized bed.  
"Thanks Jake." She replied.  
"No problem. I'm right next door if you need something."  
"Cool."  
"Goodnight." Jake said over his shoulder as he exited the room. He headed to his own room and stripped down to his boxers. "Fuck." Jake mumbled as he climbed into bed. He had forgotten just how drafty the cabin was. Jake couldn't help but think about how much warmer he would be if Fallyn was sharing the bed with him.

Hours passed and Fallyn was lying wide awake. She was exhausted but found she couldn't sleep. Fallyn knew Josh had probably returned home by then and wondered how mad he was. _'Don't worry about him.' _She told herself. Fallyn was there to try and clear her mind not worry herself. Fallyn rolled over and looked at the unoccupied 3/4 of the bed. She missed the twin sized bed in Jake's room; it was just her size but this one was much to large. Finally when Fallyn couldn't lie there any longer she climbed out of bed and exited her room. Fallyn knocked on Jake's door and didn't have to wait very long for a "come in."  
She was relieved to see that she wasn't the only one still awake. Fallyn stepped into the room and immediately tripped and fell. "Damn it." She mumbled as she massaged her knee. Jake scrambled out of bed and clicked on the light. "You ok?" He asked as he pulled her to her feet. "Yeah." She replied, "it was just so dark in here."  
Fallyn suddenly realized Jake was only wearing his boxers. She felt blush creep up her cheeks and it only worsened when she remembered she was wearing nothing more than a tank top and her underwear. _'Since when do I get embarrassed?' _She wondered.  
"What's up?" Jake asked.  
"I couldn't sleep." She said as she sat down on his bed.  
"Me neither."

Jake climbed further onto the bed and patted the spot next to him. Fallyn smiled and crawled on all fours over to him and sat down in the spot that he had directed. Jake felt a smile creep up his face as he looked at Fallyn. She wasn't wearing any make and her hair was everywhere yet Jake thought she was gorgeous. They began to talk about nothing in particular but Jake had trouble paying attention to what she was saying. He had an overwhelming urge to press his lips against hers. _'Fuck it.' _Jake thought to himself when the urge became too much. He placed his hand on the side of her cheek and pressed his lips lightly against hers. He made no attempt to sneak his tongue inside of her mouth. It was a simple kiss much like his very first kiss in the sixth grade and when he pulled away his heart was hammering just as hard as it had been when he was eleven.  
Fallyn smiled, "Is it out of your system now?"  
"What?" Jake replied. Fallyn's statement didn't seem to fit what had just happened.  
"You kissed me. Now you can add me to your list of conquests happy?"  
Jake was speechless. Fallyn wasn't angry, in fact she was smiling at him but she had no idea what she was talking about. He kissed her because every part of him wanted to not just because he could. "Fallyn that's not what..."  
"Jake its ok." She said cutting him off, "You don't have to explain yourself. I was kind of curious about what kind of kisser you were anyway."  
"Oh..." Jake said slowly. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, "ok then."  
Fallyn smiled, "Cool. Can I sleep in here?"  
Jake nodded. He watched Fallyn lay down and pull the blanket up to her chin and then stood up and clicked off the light. _'I'm such an idiot.' _He thought to himself as he climbed back onto the bed. _'A perfect opportunity to tell her how I feel and I fucking blew it. Perfect.'_

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than Russel Newberry loves his goggles.**


	7. Chapter 7

When Fallyn woke up the next morning it took her a few minutes to remember she was at the cabin and not at home. She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked over at Jake. He was already lying awake and looking up towards the ceiling. "Morning." She said as she unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. "Morning." He replied halfheartedly. Fallyn studied him and furrowed her eyebrows. He looked unhappy and Fallyn had no guesses as to why.  
_'He was fine last night.' _She told herself. "What's wrong?" Fallyn asked.  
"Nothing." He replied. Jake climbed out of bed and Fallyn found herself examining the naked parts of his body; which was 90% of him since he was still wearing nothing but his boxers. She wondered how she had ever noticed the large _Eye of Rah_ tattoo on his back before. His body looked good; it was undeniable but the thought of finding him attractive made Fallyn uncomfortable. She was still trying to adjust to being friends with him. "I'm taking a shower." Jake said, "After we can just chill or go to the lake if you want."  
Fallyn smiled, "The lake."

Jake turned on the shower and waited impatiently for the water to heat up. When the water was warmed to his satisfaction Jake stepped into the shower and allowed the water to rain down on him. He ran his hands through his unruly hair and closed his eyes. "Damn it." He mumbled as the previous nights events played in his head. He was in a foul mood but he was determined not to take it out of Fallyn this time. After all it was his own fault he didn't have the balls to tell her how he felt not hers. _'What the hell is wrong with me?' _Jake wondered. He had never gone blank like that before. Jake had never had to worry about girls liking him. He always just assumed, and rightfully so that they did. Fallyn however changed everything. She made him freeze up like an inexperienced preteen. _'Why her?'_ Jake wondered. Of all the girls to fall for why did he have to choose Fallyn Kovalevsky?

Fallyn laid in Jake's bed wishing Jake would hurry up and get out of the shower. She wanted to hurry up and get to the lake and she needed to take a shower as well before they left. Fallyn thought about the night before and how she had finally allowed Jake to kiss her. His lips were surprisingly soft despite the fact Fallyn often caught him chewing on them and she wouldn't have minded feeling them again. She had given him what he wanted; he had finally proved that he get any girl he wanted to give into him so she couldn't figure out why he had seemed so disgruntled that morning. If anyone should be upset it should be her... Right? Now she looked weak and was just another tally mark on Jake's list of foolish girls. Surely he thought she liked him; but it wasn't true. Sure his confidence wasn't annoying to Fallyn like it had once been, his body was nice; far from overwhelming like Elijah's, and the raw sense of humor Fallyn had once taken for rude now brought a smile to her face. He was also just cute in general; bright hazel eyes, beautiful Polynesian skin, and a smile just as infectious as his laugh. But none of that meant she liked him. Did it? _'No.' _She told herself,_ 'I still love Elijah.' _She had told Jake not to confuse himself into thinking he liked her and now she seemed to be doing the same thing. _'He's just a friend.'_ She told herself firmly,_ 'You just care about him. It's nothing more than that.'_

Jake entered the room with a towel slung low on his hips. The indents on his pelvis were just visible and Fallyn smirked. "I don't appreciate you coming in here naked." She mocked.  
"I'm not naked I'm wearing a towel." Jake said in his worst impression of Fallyn.  
Fallyn wrinkled her nose in disgust, "I do not sound like that."  
"That's what you think."  
Fallyn rolled her eyes and climbed off of the bed.  
"You better have used all the hot water." She said as she lightly shoved him with one hand.  
"I can't make any promises."  
Fallyn flipped him off and then exited the room.  
She made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. "Damn it Jake!" She yelled upon realizing the water was ice cold. Fallyn heard him chuckle deviously from the other room and couldn't suppress a smile.

"Thanks a lot." Fallyn said sarcastically as she re entered Jake's room. Her teeth were chattering and she wanted to give Jake a good punch to the stomach.  
Jake shrugged, "No problem."  
Fallyn bit her lip and then gave Jake a sultry smile, "Maybe next time I'll just have to shower with you so I can have some warm water too."  
Jake looked taken aback for a moment but then broke into a wide grin. "Don't make promises you can't keep." He said as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.  
"What makes you think I won't keep it?"  
"I don't know. I guess you'll just have to prove me wrong.  
_'What the hell is wrong with me?' _Fallyn wondered.  
Flirting with Jake was not acceptable and she had no idea what came over her.  
"Whatever Jake." She replied, "I'm going to change." Fallyn left Jake's room and entered her own. Fallyn's mind raced as she pulled on her swimsuit. _'Get a grip.' _She told herself, _'You're giving him exactly what he wants.' _Why did she have such a strong urge to flirt and toy with Jake? She couldn't figure it out for the life of her. Even though she knew that if she continued down the path she was heading she would end up looking stupid Fallyn found that the thought of a shower with Jake wasn't bad at all.

Jake tightened the draw string on his swimming trunks and sat down on his bed. Fallyn had definitely been blatantly flirting with him and Jake was beginning to suspect Fallyn was out of her mind; Either that or she was just as good if not better at messing with peoples heads as he was. Jake wasn't sure how he felt about it. He liked the fact she was flirting with him but she had also made it clear she didn't like him. _'So she's doing it just to fuck with me.'_ Jake concluded. Despite the fact he had done it to dozens of girls he still thought it was a very messed up thing for her to do. _'She must know I like her.' _Jake thought bitterly, _'So why hasn't she said anything?'_  
"Let's go." Fallyn said happily as she appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a pink vintage bikini and Jake thought she looked _'bangin.'_  
"Alright." Jake replied as he slipped on a pair of sandals. _'Don't let her play you.'_ He told himself firmly.

Fallyn stumbled at least a dozen times as they walked through the woods and Jake chuckled every time. "Don't say anything." Fallyn warned as Jake stopped her from falling.  
"I won't." Jake replied, "But I was under the false impression you knew how to walk. My bad."  
"That's saying something!"  
Jake smirked, "It's not my fault you have no coordination."  
Fallyn stopped walking and turned to face him. She cocked her head to the side and placed a hand on her hip. "If its such a big problem. Why don't you just carry me."  
Jake shook his head, "What makes you think I want to do that?"  
Fallyn licked her lips and smiled. "What's the matter. Not strong enough?" She cooed.  
"Nah. Your like 20lbs I could carry you with one hand."  
"I don't buy it." Fallyn said as she began walking ahead of him.  
"Josh could carry me." She said over her shoulder with a devious smile.  
"Damn it." Jake mumbled under his breath as he rushed forward and lifted her into the air. Fallyn squealed as he wrapped his arms around her. Jake threw her over his shoulder and continued walking. "What was that you were saying about me not being strong enough?" He mocked.  
"Nothing." Fallyn replied as she dragged her nails up his back through his shirt.  
Jake bit down on his bottom lip to keep from releasing a moan and it took all of his willpower to keep his body from responding to her touch.

When the reached the lake Fallyn freed herself from Jake's arms and kicked off of her shoes. She inhaled deeply and took in the scent of mud, sand, and water. It wasn't the largest lake Fallyn had ever seen but it was beautiful. There was a wooden island floating in the middle of the lake and Fallyn was aching to lay out on it. She took a moment to straighten out her bathing suit top and then ran into the water. Although it was freezing Fallyn still found it welcoming. She immersed herself in the water relished in the cool air as she emerged. Fallyn slicked her wet hair off of her face and looked up toward the bank where Jake was still standing. "Hurry up!" Fallyn yelled. Jake smiled and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Fallyn smiled at the appaulled look on Jake's face as he waded through the water towards her. "What's wrong with you?" She asked.  
"It's fucking freezing!" Jake replied. His teeth were chattering and Fallyn burst out into laughter. "Quit being such a big baby."  
"Or what?" Jake asked as he reached her.  
Fallyn grinned and hit Jake with a wave of water.  
Jake shouted as it collided with him and before Fallyn even knew what was happening Jake had her in his arms. "Don't you know who your messing with?" He teased.  
Fallyn looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you're going to enlighten me." She said exasperatedly. Jake narrowed his eyes and dunked her under the water. When Fallyn emerged coughing and sputtering a few seconds later she and Jake immediately began engaging in a wrestling match. Even though Fallyn suspected Jake wasn't using all of his strength she was still doing a very poor job of defending herself. After fifteen minutes Fallyn wriggled out of Jake's grasp and began swimming to the wooden island. Even though it was a small lake it didn't take long for Fallyn to get tired and she was beyond relieved when she finally pulled herself up onto the hard wooden surface. Fallyn laid down on her stomach and Jake pulled himself up a few minutes later.

Jake laid down next to Fallyn as close as he dared and rested his head on his arm. They laid there talking for hours talking about anything and everything that came up. Both were having such a good time that they ignored their increasingly loud growling stomachs and heavy eyes. The sky was growing darker and Jake knew it wouldn't be long before sunset. "We should head back soon." Jake said.  
Fallyn sat up and looked up at the slowly darkening sky. "Yeah you're right." She replied.  
Jake studied her and smiled. Her hair had dried and it hung around her shoulders in long waves,the little make up she had applied that morning had long since disappeared, and Jake though she looked beyond cute.  
"Wait... Before we leave. I want to tell you something."  
The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them and immediately after he finished he regretted opening his mouth.  
"What?" Fallyn asked.  
"Fallyn..." Jake cleared his throat, "I like you. That's why I kissed you... That's the only reason."  
"I don't know what to say."  
Jake shrugged and looked away from her to hide his embarrassment. "I just figured I should tell you."

_'Don't believe him.' _Fallyn told herself, _'he doesn't mean it.'_ Clearly Jake wanted something from Fallyn and she suspected he just wanted to hook up. She did think it was a bit much to tell her he liked her just to get into her pants however but Fallyn found she didn't particularly mind. Jake was attractive and she didn't see the harm in making out with him and perhaps doing a little more. _'You're single now.' _She reminded herself.  
"Well that's nice of you Jacob." She said.  
Jake frowned, "That's... All you have to say?"  
"Jake if you want to hook up with me just say it. I'm down ok? I'm single your single it's not a big deal."  
Jake stared at her with a blank expression on his face. He did nothing more than look at her for so long that Fallyn began to feel uncomfortable.  
"Jake?" She asked.  
"Yeah..." He finally replied, "That's cool."  
Fallyn smiled, "Let's go back to the cabin before it gets to dark to see."

_'What is wrong with her?' _Jake wondered. Why did Fallyn refuse to believe that he liked her? In her defense he didn't try particularly hard to convince her. When he didn't get the response he had wanted he gave up. He couldn't face the idea of embarrassing himself. _'At least she wants to hook up.'_ He thought to himself as he waded out of the water. A taste of her had to be better than nothing at all. Jake tossed Fallyn her towel and then began drying himself off. As they walked back to the cabin Fallyn began to shiver and Jake wrapped his arm around her. Having his arms around Fallyn was quickly becoming one of his favorite feelings. For a few moments Fallyn did nothing more than walk next to him with her arms at her side but then she wrapped her arm around his waist. "I'm starving!" Fallyn said loudly, breaking the silence. Jake smiled, "I'll cook dinner when we get back."  
"You're going to cook?"  
"Yeah why?"  
"I don't want you to poison me."  
Jake chuckled, "Don't worry I'm not going to poison you. I'm a great cook."  
Fallyn wrinkled her nose, "I find that hard to believe."  
"You'll see."  
"Oh I'm sure I will." Fallyn said with more than just a hint of sarcasm. Jake smirked, Fallyn's constant use of sarcasm matched his own and he could have listened to Fallyn's rude comments all day. It was safe to say that Jake was really falling for her.

When they returned to the cabin Jake headed to the kitchen and Fallyn headed straight upstairs to take a shower. Her muscles relaxed as the water hit her and she was grateful she actually got to experience the hot water this time. Fallyn squeezed her eyes shut as she washed her hair and the new memories that she had formed with Jake that day floated into her mind. It had been one of the best days she had experienced in years and Fallyn found it absolutely mind blowing that it had been with Jake. She was really beginning to grow fond of Jake, so much in fact that she didn't mind the idea of being used by him. _'Maybe being used isn't such a bad thing.'_ She told herself. Fallyn didn't see the harm in it at all. Fallyn was attracted to Jake and she was flattered that he didn't think she was the most hideous person in the world anymore. If he was willing to hook up with her that had to count for something. Deep down however Fallyn wished that what he said about him liking her had been true. She wasn't sure what she would do if it had been true since she was positive she just thought of him as a friend; a cute friend but nothing more. Still Fallyn would have liked knowing that it was possible for someone besides Elijah to have feelings for her. _'Stop it.' _She told herself, _'You knew nobody else would like you when you left Eli. Get over it.'_

When Fallyn was finished showering she pulled on a tank top and a pair of shorts then headed downstairs. Fallyn was shocked by the delicious aromas that met her when she entered the kitchen. "What are you cooking?" Fallyn asked.  
"Some chicken a little vegetables and uh some mashed potatoes." Jake replied.  
Fallyn smiled, she loved the way Jake worded things. To some it was nothing out of the ordinary but to Fallyn he spoke differently than anybody she had ever met.  
"It smells good." Fallyn said as she stood next to him and peered down at the skillet he was holding.  
"It's all the poison I added." Jake replied.  
"Oh I'm sure it is."  
Jake smiled, "Why don't you go sit at the table or something? You're distracting me."  
"Fine hurry up."

Jake nodded and looked over his shoulder as Fallyn walked out of the kitchen. _'Damn it.' _Jake thought to himself as he watched her leave. He wanted her to know how he felt but he didn't know how much more he could do to show her. Jake had come right out and told her he liked her and she still didn't believe him. He was starting to realize that Fallyn wasn't as confident as he had thought; She was just very good at pretending. Jake suspected that Fallyn wouldn't allow herself to believe it. _'Why though?' _He wondered as he turned away from her and mixed the vegetables in the skillet. _'Why can't she just believe me?'_  
_'Because you treated her like shit for a decade.'_ He countered. There wasn't much he wouldn't give to go back in time and take it back.

When Jake finished cooking he made them each a plate and carried it to the table where Fallyn was already sitting. He sat a plate down in front of her and then sat in the seat beside her. Jake waited nervously as Fallyn picked up her fork and loaded it with food. It was halfway to her mouth when she paused. "What's wrong?" Jake asked.  
Fallyn sighed, "I don't know how many times I have to tell you not to stare at me."  
Jake smiled and shook his head. He picked up his fork and began to eat, still waiting anxiously for Fallyn's approval.  
"Wow." She said finally after she took a bite of everything he had made.  
"What?" He asked.  
"This is really good!"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah really. I never knew you could cook like this."  
Jake shrugged and smiled; he was too happy to do more than that.  
"You never should have let me find out you can cook like this." Fallyn said, "Now I'm going to want you to cook for me all the time."  
"I don't mind."  
Fallyn smiled and then continued to eat. If only she knew what Jake was thinking about her at that moment.

When they finished eating they sat at the table for almost an hour talking about nothing in particular. Finally Fallyn stood up and stretched. "Let's go upstairs." She said.  
Jake stood up so quick he slammed his knee against the table causing Fallyn to burst out in laughter. Fallyn climbed up the stairs Jake following closely behind her. When she reached the top she turned to face. "Can I sleep in your room again?" She asked, "My bed is too big to sleep in alone." Jake nodded and Fallyn continued walking to his room. She slowly made her way through the dark, careful not to trip over anything and climbed into bed. Seconds after she felt Jake climb in next to her. She couldn't see him but sensed they were both looking at each other. They were both silent and they seemed to be waiting for the other to do something. Finally Fallyn cleared her throat, "Well goodnight Jacob."  
"Goodnight." He replied softly.  
They both laid down and Jake pulled the blankets over them. Fallyn rested her hands on her stomach and looked up at the ceiling. She wished that Jake would make some type of move on her but the only movement that came from his side of the bed was him rolling over. _'What the hell?' _Fallyn wondered, _'He was the one who wanted to hook up.'_  
"Jake." Fallyn said softly in case he was asleep.  
"Yeah?" He replied instantly.  
Fallyn opened her mouth but no words would come out. What was she supposed to say _'Jake why aren't you trying sleep with me?' _Fallyn took a deep breath, _'Screw it.'_ She thought to herself. Fallyn reached out for Jake and quickly found his face. She pressed her lips against his and Jakes hands immediately found the small of her back. Fallyn parted her lips and Jake's tongue danced with hers for the first time. She was unsurprised that he was a skilled kisser and wanted more. Fallyn pressed her body against his and Jake held her tightly. Fallyn straddled Jake and pushed his shirt up over his chest. Fallyn broke the kiss and heard a sharp intake of breath as she nipped and kissed at Jake's neck. His hands found his way under her tank top and he gently ran his fingertips across her back. Jake lifted Fallyn off of him and laid her down on her back. He pulled his shirt over his head and parted Fallyn's legs with his knee so he could kneel between them. Jake ran his fingers up her sides as he removed her tank top and Fallyn shivered at his touch. He then lent down for a kiss and they both fought for dominance as their tongues wrestled. Fallyn loved the way he tasted and was aching to taste more of him. Jake reached down and unhooked her bra with one hand. "Had a lot of practice doing that?" Fallyn asked.  
"Think about who your talking to." Jake said softly as he massaged her breast in his hand. He placed kisses down her neck and chest and then caught a nipple in his mouth. Fallyn gasped and arched her back as he nipped her with his teeth. She reached down and tried to slide his boxers off but Jake grabbed her wrists and stopped her.  
"What's wrong?" She asked.  
"Nothing." He replied.  
Fallyn reached for his boxers but again he stopped her.  
"Why are you in such a rush?" He asked as he left a trail of kisses down her stomach. Fallyn's stomach fluttered and she ran her hands through his hair. "I'm not." She replied.  
"Mmmhmmm." Was Jake's response. He slid his hands into Fallyn's shorts and she curled her legs so he could remove them. He took her shorts along with her underwear and tossed them off of the bed. Fallyn spread her legs further, hoping Jake would take initiative and stop teasing her. He laid down on his stomach and placed his head head between her legs. Fallyn bit her lip as she felt Jake's breath against the inside of her thigh; She was aching from the anticipation. Jake delicately kissed the inside of each of her thighs and Fallyn fought the urge to scream at him to hurry up. Fallyn cried out as Jake pulled her clit into his mouth. Waves of pleasure washed over her as he licked and sucked her tiny bundle of nerves. Fallyn balled the blankets in her fists as Jake pushed two fingers inside of her and slowly began to thrust them in and out. "Ja...Jake." She moaned.  
"You like that?" He teased. Fallyn was unable to speak; her only response was to tug on Jake's hair. Her heart pounded and her breathing became shallow and rapid. It wasn't long before Jake coaxed her to Orgasm and Fallyn cried out several times as it washed over her. Fallyn sat up and pulled Jake back up to her. She ran her nails across his back and bit down on his ear lobe. "Stop teasing me Jacob." She pleaded. Jake pushed her back down and rid himself of his boxers. He positioned himself at her entrance and Fallyn was shaking with anticipation. She wanted him so bad she didn't think she could handle it if he suddenly changed his mind. Fallyn gasped and dug her nails into his arms as he slowly entered her. Clearly you couldn't judge the size of a mans _equipment_ based on his overall size because Fallyn could feel Jake stretching her. It was a mixture of pleasure and discomfort but Fallyn still didn't want him to stop. Once he was completely sheathed inside of her he stopped moving to give Fallyn time to adjust to his size then lent down to kiss her. Fallyn was surprised by how gentle he was when he kissed her. He no longer fought for dominance he simply allowed his tongue to flicker against hers. Jake slowly began to move and almost immediately Fallyn was unable to suppress her moaning. Never in a million years would she have guessed sex with Jacob Harris would be like this. She assumed he would be clumsy and selfish but Jake knew exactly what he was doing and he was making her feel like it was all about her. His kisses were gentle and even the way his hands brushed against her was erotic. His pace was slow and it was a welcome change for Fallyn. When with Elijah it was often so quick and rough she was left bruised. Fallyn held tightly onto him as warmth erupted in the pit of her stomach and spread throughout her body. She bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming and dug her nails into his sides. Fallyn had never reached her peak quite like that before. During sex with Elijah she often felt like her body was forced to Orgasm but with Jake it was the most explosive pleasure she had ever experienced. A few minutes later Jake released a deep moan and collapsed on top of her. They were both breathing heavily and much too tired to move. After a while Jake placed a kiss on her forehead and lifted himself off of her.  
"Fallyn... I..." Jake began.  
"Wait" Fallyn said slowly, "Let's not ruin this moment by talking about it."  
"Ok."  
Jake threw his arm over her and Fallyn didn't object when he pressed his body against hers.  
"Goodnight." He said.  
"Goodnight." She replied.  
Fallyn's heart rate had not slowed down and feeling Jake up against her did little to help. When they agreed to hook up Fallyn had imagined the sex would be quick and rough but Jake had been slow and deliberate. He had made love to her and Fallyn wasn't sure what to make of it.

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more our boyss love nicotine (:**

(I know a lot of people haven't seen/ don't remember seeing Jake's back...  
so before someone corrects me Jake and Josh BOTH have the _Eye of Rah_ tattooed on their back...  
i would love to know the story of the double tattoo though bahaha maybe they got it together lol!)


	8. Chapter 8

A/N hmmmm ch.8 seems like a good time to post a preview for my next story (: Enjoy:

_The year: 1915. After the crab industry goes bust members of the fleet are given a second chance as the crew of a luxury ocean liner. On it's two week long maiden voyage the ship is filled with the richest people from all over Europe and the U.S. Is two weeks enough time to change the lives of a few of sea hardened fishermen? _ (obviously it won't be historically accurate bahah)

on with the story:

The next few days went by without incident. Externally at least; internally Fallyn felt constant conflict. _'I don't like him!' _Over and over she repeated it to herself but no matter how many times it echoed in her head she was never able to convince herself it was true. After making love to Jake Fallyn knew there was no going back. She was falling for him and she had to wonder if she had been the entire time. Her feelings had been right in front of her face for weeks but she pushed them aside. Now that Fallyn knew they were there she didn't know what to do with them. Jake didn't like her; Fallyn was sure of it. Fallyn guessed Jake had claimed to have feelings for the sole reason of getting her in bed. In the days that followed Jake didn't mention having feelings for her again so Fallyn assumed her suspicions were correct. Jake hadn't tried to hook up with her again either and she was grateful. Fallyn didn't think she could handle it again. It was too perfect and being used wasn't as easy as she had thought it would be. The dynamic of their relationship had changed since the night they made love. Neither mentioned it and although it was in each of their personalities to be down right rude to each other they were now being friendly to the point it was unnatural.

Fallyn shielded her eyes and rolled over as the sun crept into Jake's room and across the bed. Fallyn and Jake continued to share a bed even though they hadn't tried to be intimate again. She accidentally elbowed Jake as she rolled over and his eyes fluttered open. "Sorry Jake." She said as rubbed her hand over the spot on his arm where she had struck him. "It's ok." He replied as he removed her hand from his arm and placed it back on the bed. Fallyn frowned, now that Jake had gotten what he wanted from her she felt like he wanted nothing to do with her. "What's that look for?" Jake asked.  
"What?" Fallyn replied.  
"Why do you have that look on your face?"  
Fallyn sat up and shrugged, "I dont know. Nothings wrong."  
"You're lying."  
"Jake I'm fine."  
Fallyn plastered a smile on her face and waited for Jake to stop narrowing his eyes at her. Finally his face relaxed and he climbed out of the bed. "Whatever you say."

Jake exited the room and rubbed his eyes wearily as he walked down the stairs. Sleeping in the same bed as Fallyn was damn near torture. Giving in to his desires and sleeping with Fallyn was one of the biggest mistakes he had made in a very long time. All it did was increase the aching need he had for her. He had never experienced these type of feelings for someone before in his entire life. Jake was thinking of Fallyn constantly and the fact she was always around him only made it worse. In the past if his brother would have called him selfish he would have been completely right but now Jake was too worried about Fallyn to think about himself. She deserved to be with someone who could show her real affection and Jake was convinced he was becoming that person. She needed someone to help her move on and accept her murky past and Jake knew he was the perfect person for her to lean on. If only Fallyn wasn't so stubborn so could see that his feelings for her were sincere. He headed to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal and was only alone for a few minutes when Fallyn entered the room in a tank top and her underwear.  
"Can we go back to the lake today?" She asked as she hopped up on the counter.  
"Yeah if you want." Jake replied through a mouthful of cereal. Fallyn smiled widely as milk leaked down his chin and Jake's face suddenly felt hot as he wiped away the milk.  
"I do want."  
"Alright then. I want to shower first though."  
Fallyn hopped off of the counter and placed her hands on her hips. "I don't think so." She said as she stepped closer to him.  
"Why not?" He asked.  
"You've used all the hot water every day this week. I'm going to take a shower first."  
Jake shrugged, "Whatever. It doesn't matter to me."  
"Good."  
Fallyn turned and left the kitchen, her hair whipping behind her as she went. Jake continued to eat his cereal and a few minutes later heard the shower turn on from upstairs. It was no use trying to stop the images of water raining down on Fallyn's petite naked body. He was lost in his own fantasies but they soon became too much. Jake dropped his bowl into the sink and headed upstairs. When he reached the top he made a bee line to bathroom and opened the door without knocking. For once he was glad there was no lock on the bathroom door. Jake quickly and silently removed his boxers and t-shirt. He pulled back the shower curtain and Fallyn jumped and screamed as the cold air hit her. She turned to face him and for a few moments they just gazed at each others naked bodies.  
"Its cold Jake." Fallyn finally said, "get in here or get the hell out."

In an instant Jake joined her in the shower and yanked the curtain closed. He held up his hands and Fallyn reached up and placed hers against his. Jake marveled at how tiny her hands were compared to his own. They stood there with their hands together in complete silence. Jake didn't know what to say. It was the first time he had actually seen her completely naked and she was beautiful. When looking at her no vulgar thoughts rushed to his brain. Her body was a work of art; like the carefully proportioned sculptures he had seen at a museum as a child. A work of art he had no problem with studying. "Jacob." Fallyn said softly.  
"What?" He asked.  
"Can you kiss me or... or something?"  
Jake smiled and entwined their fingers before leaning down to kiss her. Fallyn parted her lips and Jake's tongue delved into the depths of her mouth. They stood under the water; their tongues teasing each other mercilessly and Jake didn't pull away until the water was ice cold.  
"How can you be so fucking blind?" Jake asked softly.  
"I don't know what you mean." Fallyn replied.  
"That's the problem."

Fallyn waited for Jake to elaborate but instead he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. After tossing Fallyn a towel he wrapped one around his waist and exited the room. _'Why does he have to torture me?' _Fallyn wondered. She had a insatiable hunger that could only be resolved by Jake's kisses. Why did he have to be so cute and grudgingly charming? Underneath all the insensitive remarks and jerk tendencies Fallyn now knew Jake held a lot of compassion. If only Jake's feelings for her were genuine. Knowing Jake didn't experience the same feelings when the kissed was an realization that Fallyn absolutely hated. She couldn't blame him though; Fallyn knew right away all he wanted was to hook up and it was her own fault for having feelings for him. Jake's voice echoed in her head, _'How can you be so fucking blind?'_ Fallyn wiped the steam off of the mirror and stared at her reflection. _'I am blind.' _She thought miserably, _'crazy too for hoping one day he'll like me back.'_

After changing into their swimsuits Fallyn and Jake each grabbed a towel and headed outside. As they walked neither of them mentioned their encounter in the shower just like they refused to mention the fact they had made love just days before. "It's amazing out here." Fallyn said as they exited the trees and reached the lake. "It is." Jake agreed. Fallyn smiled at him over her shoulder before stripping off her cover up and running into the water. Fallyn immersed herself in the water and relished the sensation of it against her skin. Her hair danced around her face and she squinted through the water at her surroundings. Although she could make very little out she was still in awe. Fallyn loved everything about the lake and woods. It wasn't hectic like home; there were no people to scream and yell, no cars to speed and blare their horns, and nothing to be afraid of but the dark. Fallyn felt Jake grab hold of her under her arms and slowly lift her out of the water. Fallyn stood up and wiped her hair out of her face. After blinking the water out of her eyes she took a good look at Jake and was surprised by the serious look on his face.  
Fallyn began to ask him what was wrong but Jake cut her off before she had the chance to do more then stutter.  
"Fallyn listen to me." He said firmly, "I need you to believe what I'm about to tell you because I swear to god I'm being completely real with you."  
"Ok." Fallyn said nervously.  
"I like you." Jake smiled, "A lot. And its fucking insane because it wasn't too long ago that I couldn't stand you. I don't know what made me open my eyes and realize what was in front of me... but whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I want to be with you Fallyn. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell you I like you before you believe me but I don't want anybody else and I've got a lot of time. I'll tell you everyday if I have to."  
Fallyn shook her head. She didn't want to believe him. She couldn't believe him. Fallyn was waiting for him to burst into laughter and say, _'You didn't take me seriously did you?'_ But that moment never came. He watched her anxiously and chewed his bottom lip while he waited for a response.  
"Jake I'm scared to believe you." Fallyn finally choked out.  
"Why?" He asked, the frustration was evident in his voice.  
"Because I like you Jacob and if this is a joke I won't know what to do."  
"I wouldn't make something like this up!"  
"Jake you've told dozens of girls you liked them without meaning it."  
Jake stared down at her and Fallyn could see he was having a hard time controlling his temper. Fallyn was used to having a man glare down at her but this, this was different. She wasn't scared of him the way she had been petrified of Elijah. Fallyn knew he was just having a hard time choosing the right words.  
"Promise me you're not messing with me?" Fallyn said.  
"I promise Fallyn." He replied, "and I'm going to prove to you how much I want to be with you ok?"  
Fallyn rubbed the back of her neck and took a step back from Jake. It was remarkable how bad she wanted to tell Jake she wanted to be his girlfriend but she couldn't.  
"Jake I can't commit to you."  
"Why not?" He asked helplessly  
"We can like each other and see each other exclusively... but I can't go as far as to call you my boyfriend."  
"I don't understand? You said you liked me too. I thought you would want to be my girlfriend?"  
"I do Jacob. I really do but there are so many other things I want and I can't feel comfortable calling myself _anyones_ girlfriend until I take care of them."  
"Like what?"  
"I want to go a day without being petrified that Elijah is going to find me and hurt me. I want to be able to stop blaming myself for what my brother did. I want to stop having the constant urge to carve into my skin with a fucking razor blade! And... I want to see my parents again."  
Jake grabbed Fallyn hands and pulled her close to him, "I'll help you get a restraining order against Elijah and I'll pay for fucking therapy if you want it! I promise I'll listen to every damn thing that you want to talk about Fallyn and I'll even take you to go see your parents. I'll do anything to help you feel ok."  
"Really? You mean all of that?"  
"Really."  
Fallyn wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face into his chest. Jacob Harris had just surprised her in a way that nobody had her whole life and she finally really believed he wanted to be with her. The feeling it brought her was indescribable and she wanted nothing more than to cling onto him.  
"And then hopefully you'll still want to be my girlfriend." Jake continued. "I'll wait for you ok?"  
"I can tell you right now I'll still want to be your girlfriend."

Jake placed a soft kiss on Fallyn's forehead and led her out of the water. They spread out their towels and laid down. Fallyn rested her head on Jake's chest and he knew she could feel his heart beat. Jake was filled with an incredible sense of relief now that Fallyn finally believed how felt about her. Admittedly he was a little disappointed she declined to be his girlfriend but he understood her reasoning. He also knew that if they waited until she sorted out all her problems their relationship would be much healthier. Jake was bound and determined to do everything he could to make Fallyn happy. "Jake." Fallyn said as she ran the tips of her fingers in small circles across his stomach.  
"Hmmm?" He replied.  
"You're a good man."  
Jake snorted, "Right."  
Fallyn turned her head to face him, "I'm serious! I can't describe how amazing you made me feel today."  
Jake shook his head. Fallyn had no idea what she was talking about. _'Good man.' _Was not a frase anyone had ever used to describe him.  
"Your dad would be proud of you." Fallyn continued.  
"No he wouldn't." Jake replied almost instantly.  
He had done absolutely nothing to make his father proud; Jake was sure of it. He was the same screw up he had always been.  
"Jake I wish you could see how much you've been changing lately. I'd still be with Elijah if it wasn't for you. When you found me in the bathroom back home you saved me and you can't even see it. And when was the last time you smoked weed or drank or anything?"  
Jake thought for a moment and couldn't suppress a small smile, "I can't remember. It's been a while I guess."  
"It has." Fallyn agreed, "You've been doing so good and you didn't even notice. I've really fallen for you Jake and its because your a different man now. You're still sarcastic, rude, and an asshole when you want to be but your so caring and genuine. If I wasn't with you right now I'd be so lost."  
Jake smiled, "That... that means a hell of a lot coming from you."  
"It's the truth. There is one thing though..."  
Jake knew what she was going to say before she had the chance to finish her sentence and she was completely right. It was a problem he had been putting off for way too long and it was much too close to his heart to ignore for much longer.  
"Yeah I know." Jake said cutting her off, "I need to fix things with Josh and I'm going to as soon as I get home."  
Fallyn smiled, "There's a pay phone remember? Why do you have to wait until we get home?"

That night Jake was standing on the cabin porch holding a cigarette loosely in his hand. He was finding it difficult to work up the courage to walk the short distance to the pay phone and call his brother. Fallyn had offered to go with him but Jake felt that this was something that he should handle alone. Now he was starting to regret his decision to go without her. Jake dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it under his foot before starting to walk. The howling wind and crinkling leaves sounded ominous as he made his way to the pay phone. When he reached the phone no more than five minutes later Jake stared at it but made no effort to pick up the receiver. He could already hear his brother screaming at him in his head and was in no rush to make it reality. Slowly Jake reached for the phone and inserted two dimes into the slot before pressing the phone to his ear. He dialed his brother's number and seriously considered hanging up as he listened to the phone ring. "Hello?" Josh said. He sounded half asleep and Jake felt a little guilty for calling him at 1:00AM.  
"Hey." Jake replied.  
"Jake?" Josh now sounded wide awake and Jake wished he would have continued to sound half asleep.  
"Yeah its me."  
"Where the hell are you? Where the hell is Fallyn?"  
"She's with me... Well not with me right now. But we're here together."  
"And where exactly is _'here'_?  
"I can't tell you dude."  
"This makes no fucking sense." Josh said venomously, "You two fucking hate eachother but you disappear together in the middle of the night?"  
"We don't hate eachother anymore... And I left a note."  
"Fuck that note Jake! All it said was that you two were leaving! I've been worried sick about you guys! It's been a week and I'm not hearing from you until now?"  
"I'm sorry man." This conversation was going exactly how Jake feared it would and he had an overwhelimg urge to hang up on his brother.  
"Why did you two even leave?" Josh spat.  
"Because..." Jake hesitated, he was unsure about how much he should tell Josh, "because... She needed to get away... so I helped her."  
"Well why didn't she ask me? I'm her best friend... and you treat her like shit!"  
"I don't treat her like shit anymore." Jake said softly. Josh took a while to respond and Jake coul hear even in the silence that Josh was extremely aggrivated.  
"So what? You're not being a complete asshole to her anymore! I'm still her best friend! You should have told me something was wrong with her!"  
"Josh you're not the easiest person to talk to. We weren't trying to piss you off ok? I'm just trying to help her."  
Josh was breathing heavily and again Jake had a strong urge to end the phone call, but Fallyn was right Jake needed to work on his relationship with his brother. He was the last family he had left and Jake didn't want to lose him too.  
"You have feelings for her don't you?" Josh asked.  
"Yeah I do. I really care about her. Don't worry man... We're coming back soon ok? But not until I know she's ok."  
Josh sighed, "You're at the cabin aren't you?"  
Jake reluctantly smiled, "yeah how'd you know?"  
"That's where you always go."  
"Did you know I was here when..."  
"Yeah I knew that's where you were when you were gone for a month."  
"Why didn't you come get me?" Jake asked, his curiousity getting the better of him.  
"I just figured I should give you some space... Don't think I wasn't checking on you though."  
Jake laughed, "So you're what I heard creeping around outside?"  
Jake was relieved when Josh began to laugh as well.  
"Look." Jake said once their laughter subsided, "I have to go but don't worry I'm taking care of Fallyn and I've been taking care of myself too. When I get back you and I can talk about... everything and maybe we can be real bros again."  
"Deal." Josh replied.  
Jake smiled, "see you soon dude."  
"See you."

Jake hung up the phone and dug his hands into his pockets as he walked back to the cabin. When he arrived he found Fallyn standing on the porch waiting for him. "How'd it go?" She asked. Jake placed a hand on the side of her neck then lent down and placed a brief kiss on her lips. "It went ok." He replied, "he knows we're here."  
A look of panic spread across her face, "is he coming here?"  
Jake grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. "No he's not. I told him we'd be back soon."  
Fallyn pouted, "I don't want to go back. I love it here."  
Jake smiled, "I'll bring you back whenever you want."  
Fallyn smiled and allowed Jake to pull her up the stairs. "I'll hold you to that."

Fallyn slipped on her pajamas and climbed in to Jake's bed. He pulled her close to him and Fallyn rested her head on his chest. Jake rubbed her back and she immediately felt relaxed. It wasn't long before her eyes grew almost too heavy to hold open. For the first time in a very long time Fallyn felt ok. She didn't dread getting up the next morning and having to deal with the feelings she had learned to keep hidden on her own. Fallyn knew things were going to be different from that day forward; because she had Jake and an overwhelming feeling that it wouldn't be long before she could finally call herself happy.

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than Sig loves to have women **_**'do their business'**_** on the NW pots (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** i added a poll to my profile regarding my next story. check it out pleaassee (:

**This chapter is dedicated to Sarah aka Alaskancrabber-92. She knows why. Jeg elsker deg best friend (:**

Jake and Fallyn remained at the cabin for the next two weeks. It wasn't until they began to run out of food and firewood that Fallyn agreed with Jake that it was time to leave. Initially she dreaded going home but she knew she couldn't hide away forever. Fallyn knew it was time to start living her life again. She felt like she was finally being given a second chance at life. Not only was she free of Elijah but she now had Jake. It still baffled Fallyn that the obnoxious, arrogant, and rude Jake Harris was so good to her. Even though she had refused to be his girlfriend he was continuing to show her constant affection. He held her hand, called her beautiful, listened to her ramble about whatever was on her mind, kissed her often, held her close while they slept, but hadn't once tried to sleep with her again. Fallyn had tried and failed many times to express how grateful she was to him but no words strong enough. Instead she showed him just as much affection and they were practically attached to the hip.

Fallyn was curled up in the passengers seat of Jake's truck waiting for him to load their bags into the back. She wanted to run back into the cabin and barricade herself inside. Fallyn was weary of leaving her sanctuary and going back to regular life. She had found part of herself in the woods and was scared of losing it again in the city. Jake hopped into the driver's seat and eyed her suspiciously. He reached over and entwined his finger's with Fallyn's. "What are you so worried about?" Jake asked.  
"Everything." she replied.  
"Elaborate Fallyn."  
"I'm scared of bumping into Eli, Josh being mad at me..." Fallyn pulled her hand out of Jake's grasp and unconsciously rubbed her arm, "and slipping back into bad habits."  
Fallyn saw Jake eying her cuts and felt herself blush. At the moment she was pretty confident she wouldn't cut herself again; but she had thought that many times before and in the end found herself holed up somewhere slicing through her skin. After how much Jake had done to help her she didn't want to end up disappointing him.  
Jake smiled, "Don't worry about Josh he's all bark no bite as for Eli we're going to get the restraining order remember?"  
Fallyn nodded and gave him a weak smile.  
"Anything else you're worried about don't be." Jake continued, "I'm going to take care of you ok?"  
Fallyn's smile widened and she seized Jake by his shirt collar. She pressed her lips firmly against his and it was several long minutes before they pulled apart. "You ok?" Jake asked.  
"Yeah." Fallyn responded.  
Jake turned the key in the ignition and began the long drive home. Fallyn kept her eyes on the cabin until Jake turned around a bend and she was unable to see it any longer. She faced forward and reclined in her seat. _'It will be ok.'_ She told herself as she closed her eyes to attempt to sleep the drive away.

_'Typical.' _Jake thought to himself as he looked to his right and saw Fallyn was asleep. A smile crept across his face; she was so beautiful. He couldn't believe how much he was changing for her. His father had always said, _'One day Jacob your going to meet a girl who can beat some god damn sense in to you.'_ Jake smiled at the memory. He had always brushed his fathers comments off as the usual babble and that particular comment he had never expected to be true. He wished his father was there to see that he had been right; he wouldn't even have minded if he rubbed it in his face, which he surely would have. His father had always wanted him to be a good fisherman but he was far more concerned with him being a good man. Now Jake was determined to show him that he could be just that. He wondered if his father could see him; he even hoped. Jake could feel himself changing into a different person; a man he knew his father would be proud of.

Jake drove for hours. The only thing keeping him awake was the music that played softly from the radio. He wished Fallyn was awake to keep him company but she had been so jittery all day he was glad she had fallen asleep. Jake was nearly as nervous about Fallyn returning home as she was. He didn't want Elijah to harass her and part of him was worried she would go back to him. Jake was anxious about helping Fallyn get a restraining order against Elijah as soon as possible. More than anything however he wanted Fallyn to be reunited with her parents. Jake knew she would never be able to fully move on until her parents were back in her life. Jake would have done anything to get his father back and he didn't want Fallyn to end up living with the same regret that he was. He also firmly believed that Fallyn needed some type of therapy; she needed to forgive herself for her brother's death and stop cutting herself. Jake wasn't sure what he would do if he ever found out Fallyn was cutting herself again. All he knew for sure was that he would be extremely disappointed and hurt. Fallyn was far too beautiful to be so damaging to herself.

Fallyn jerked awake when Jake turned off his car as if it had been some kind of silent alarm. She sat up in her seat and rubbed her eyes with her palms. "I can't believe we're here already." She said as she stifled a yawn.  
Jake snorted, "yeah lucky you! You got to sleep for the whole drive."  
"I'm sorry babe."  
Jake smiled and kissed her on the cheek, "ready to go inside?"  
Fallyn nodded and unbuckled her seat belt.  
"Oh." Jake continued, "I told Josh I had feelings for you but I didn't tell him we were involved. So if you don't want him to know its cool."  
Fallyn rolled her eyes and slid out of the car. Jake furrowed his eyebrows and climbed out of the car. Fallyn held out her hand when he reached her and Jake grabbed it in an instant.  
"I want him to know." Fallyn said.  
"Really?" Jake asked.  
Fallyn laughed at the surprised expression on his face. "Yeah really. We don't have anything to be ashamed of."  
Jake smiled and pulled her up the driveway. Fallyn walked as slowly as she could behind Jake; she had an unsettling feeling that Josh was going to be upset when he saw her. When they entered the house Fallyn's heart was racing as her eyes adjusted to the dark. She followed Jake to the living room only to be disappointed that Josh wasn't there. Jake made his way upstairs clicking on every light as he went. Fallyn laughed, "is that really necessary?"  
"I have to see where I'm going don't I?" Jake replied.  
Fallyn rolled her eyes and followed Jake up the stairs. When they reached the top Josh's door was open a crack and the light from his room flooded the hallway. Jake pushed the door open with his foot and he and Fallyn entered the room. Josh was sitting on the edge of his bed doing something on his cell phone. He looked up as the entered the room and his eyes widened slightly.  
"I was wondering when you two were going to come back." He said as he stood up and faced them.  
"Well now you know." Jake replied.  
Fallyn saw Josh's eyes land on hers and Jake's entwined fingers and waited anxiously for him to make a comment. She could look at him and tell that he didn't approve and Fallyn's feelings were already hurt.  
"So you two are a couple now?" Josh asked.  
"Not officially." Fallyn replied, "but we're seeing each other."  
"Wow... hardly took you two any time at all to get together."  
"It did happen pretty fast." Jake cut in.  
"Yeah I can see that."  
Fallyn found herself growing increasingly angry with Josh. She knew he wasn't going to be happy about her seeing his brother but he was being down right rude.  
Jake cleared his throat, "Hey do you want to go to breakfast in the morning? I can treat."  
"Nah." Josh replied, "I already made plans sorry."  
Jake looked crestfallen and Fallyn gave his hand a light squeeze.  
"Ok then. Well it's late I'll let you get to sleep."  
"Goodnight." Josh said as he sat back down on the bed. Fallyn gave him a questioning look but Josh ignored her. She tugged on Jake's hand and after a few minutes he tore his gaze away from his brother and followed her out of the room.

"What the hell was that?" Jake muttered angrily as they walked to his room.  
Fallyn shrugged, "that was pretty weird. I've never seen him like that before."  
"Yeah perfect Josh isn't as perfect as everyone thinks."  
"Maybe he had a bad day." Fallyn offered.  
"Or he's just a dick."  
Fallyn opened her mouth to respond but decided against it. She racked her brain but couldn't think of any excuse for Josh's behavior. Fallyn had been hoping for a much warmer reception.

Even though Fallyn slept the whole ride home as soon as her eyes landed on her bed she felt herself grow drowsy. She picked up her abandoned cell phone and was relieved to see that it was completely dead. Fallyn wasn't ready to see how many calls and texts she had missed from Elijah. She peeled off her jeans and climbed into her bed. Jake stripped down into his boxers and climbed into his own bed. Jake looked over at her and smirked, "You don't think you're sleeping over there by yourself do you?" Fallyn smiled and flung her blanket off of her and raced the short distance to Jake's bed. She quickly dove under the covers and pulled them up to her chin before the cold had a chance to stab at her skin. Jake placed a hand on her back and pressed her body against his. He kissed her forehead and brushed her hair out of her face. Fallyn brushed her fingertips over Jake's cheek and pressed herself even closer to him. "I'm not going to try and be nice to him if he's going to be a fucking asshole." Jake blurted out.  
Fallyn frowned, "Jake you talked to him on the phone once while we were gone. You didn't think it was going to fix everything did you?"  
"No but he made it sound like he was going to try. I don't give a fuck what plans he already made I'm his brother he should cancel them!"  
Fallyn had a nagging suspicion that Josh didn't have any plans but decided it was best not to voice her concerns.  
"Like I said maybe he just is having a bad day. I'm sure tomorrow will be different. Don't give up on him yet ok?"  
Jake smiled and pressed his lips gently against hers. "It's whatever." He said once he pulled away, "I just want to make sure your ok."  
Fallyn rolled her eyes, "Making sure your ok is just as important you know."  
Jake smiled and ran his hand over Fallyn's back. It quickly escalated into him mercilessly tickling her. Fallyn released a scream of laughter and tried her hardest to get Jake off of her. Jake merely laughed and continued his antics. He didn't stop until tears of laughter had streamed down Fallyn's face and she couldn't breath. Jake released his hold on her and laid back down. Fallyn smiled and laid back down next to him. She gently ran her nails across his chest and before she could tell him anything else felt herself falling asleep.

Jake held her close to him and soon found that he was unable to fall asleep. There were so many things he wanted to accomplish in the near future and they were all he could think about. What seemed the most unattainable at the moment was making up with his brother. Jake couldn't understand why he had behaved so cold to them when they arrived. Jake had expected him to be happy or at the very least relieved they were home; but Josh just seemed to be annoyed by their presence. It didn't add up just weeks before Josh had seemed excited to work on their relationship but now Josh seemed content with leaving it the way it was before Jake and Fallyn had left. Jake tried his best to clear his thoughts and after what felt like an eternity he finally fell asleep.

When Fallyn woke up the next morning she looked over at Jake and when she saw that he had no signs of waking up anytime soon carefully crawled out of bed. She slid on a pair of shorts and slipped into the hall. Fallyn made a stop at Josh's room but found that it was empty. She continued on her way downstairs and found him in the kitchen making himself an omelet. "Good morning." She said as she hopped up on the island. "Morning." He replied without looking at her.  
"Did you sleep ok last night?"  
"Same as always except I had to listen to you and my brother talk and laugh as loud as possible."  
"Sorry Josh." Fallyn said sincerely.  
"Whatever."  
Fallyn hopped off of the island and grabbed Josh's arm so that he was facing her.  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked angrily. Josh towered over her but he was one person she was not at all intimidated by.  
"Nothing." He shot back.  
"Don't lie to me Joshua."  
Josh sighed, "I just don't understand why you you would leave with my brother instead of me!"  
"I thought you talked about this with him."  
"I did... and I understand why he left with you but I don't understand why you left with him."  
"It was what felt right Josh and he offered to help me you didn't.  
"I didn't know you needed help Fallyn!" Josh said angrily, "You hide everything from me."  
Fallyn felt her insides burn with guilt. She should have talked to Josh about her feelings but he was often too stubborn to see other people's point of views. Fallyn knew he always meant well but that didn't make it any easier to confide in him.  
"Josh I'm sorry from now on I'll tell you everything." She replied.  
"Well you don't have to now that you have Jake."  
Fallyn was surprised by the bitterness in his voice and it took her a few long moments to think of what to say. All she could come up with was, "What do you mean?"  
Josh shook his head, "I can't believe you're together now."  
"We aren't official."  
"Does it really matter if you're official? You're still together aren't you? You sleep in the same bed, you kiss each other, and you have sex together don't you?"  
"Actually we only had sex once."  
"I don't understand how you can be with him."  
Fallyn folded her arms across her chest and glared at Josh, "Why is it so hard to believe?"  
"Because he's treated you like shit for years! He told me he had feelings for you but I thought you would know better than to fall for him. He does one nice thing for you and you fall right into his trap! I've been good to you forever."  
"Its not a trap! He's changing and maybe you would be able to see that if you had agreed to go to breakfast with him! And what does the way you treat me have to do with anything?"  
Josh looked away from her and ran his hand over his face before giving her his attention once more.  
"Because..." He began slowly, "I always thought that when you left Elijah... Maybe we would be together."  
Fallyn was beyond surprised at Josh's answer and her mind had gone completely blank. By the time Fallyn had opened her mouth to reply Josh's face had turned completely red.  
"I... Josh I don't know why you would think that... We've always been just friends."  
"Fallyn you lost your virginity to me!" Josh said angrily making blush creep up her cheeks.  
"Yeah... But it wasn't because we had feelings for each other!" Fallyn replied, "I just wanted my first time to be with someone I could trust! We talked about it before it even happened Josh!"  
"I wouldn't have had sex with you if I didn't have feelings for you." Josh said softly.  
"What the fuck is going on?" Jake cut in angrily before Fallyn had a chance to reply to Josh. Fallyn closed her eyes and attempted to steady her nerves. She did not want to turn around and see the angry look on Jake's face she already knew was there. _'How did I not hear him come in?' _She wondered angrily. Fallyn opened her eyes and slowly turned to face him.  
"You fucked him?" Jake yelled. The accusatory tone in his voice made Fallyn's skin crawl.  
"Yes." She replied. Fallyn had been caught and she saw no point in lying, "but it was just once and it wasn't a big deal. It was years ago before I even met Elijah."  
"It is a big deal! You lost your virginity to my brother! Don't you think that's something you should have told me?"  
"Jake..." Josh began tentatively.  
"No fuck you!" Jake yelled back, "I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me."  
Josh backed down and didn't say anything else which worried Fallyn due to the fact it was the first time that had ever happened.  
Jake rounded on Fallyn, "So what? Are you just using me to get close to my brother?"  
"No!" Fallyn said angrily, "I want to be with you not him." She didn't care that Josh was right beside her and more than likely she was hurting his feelings. At the moment all she cared about was Jake understanding that he was the only person she wanted to be with.  
"You lied to me." He spat.  
"I didn't lie! I just didn't tell you everything. I made a mistake I'm sorry."  
Jake shook his head, "Fuck you Fallyn." He said before exiting the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Fallyn." Josh said as soon as Jake was gone.  
"Damn it Josh!" Fallyn said as tears stung her eyes, "You know him he's not going to forgive me for this."  
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything. I'll talk to him ok?"  
"No I don't want you to talk to him! You're just going to make it worse."  
Josh grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "I'll fix it ok? Just trust me."

Jake was in his room pacing in a state of rage. He wanted to punch his brother in the face and never talk to Fallyn again. The thought of sleeping with someone his brother had made his stomach turn. There was nothing Fallyn could possibly say to justify it. The fact she had lost her virginity to his brother was not something that could have possibly slipped her mind. After all he had done and planned to do for her he couldn't believe she had kept something so important hidden from him. Now that Fallyn knew Josh had feelings for her Jake was positive she would choose him. Josh was the smart one, the ambitious one, the one everyone was instantly attracted to for more than just his looks. Jake would never admit it but at that moment he was incredibly insecure and his feelings were hurt. He felt betrayed and he didn't know how he could look at either one of them the same.

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than Edgar Hansen loves Jett Ivanova (ooooh yeah I just totally referenced one of my own stories xD)  
**oh and XBlack7WidowX fix your settings so i can message you! -_- lol


	10. Chapter 10

Jake looked down at his cell phone and ignored Fallyn who was sitting quietly on the bed across from him. He had nothing to say to her. Jake felt betrayed and like an idiot for trusting her. How could she sleep with his brother and then him? Was it just some type of sick game for her? Did she think it was funny to make both he and his brother fall for her? _'Fuck her.' _He thought miserably. Jake stood up and exited the room just as Fallyn opened her mouth to speak to him. He slammed the door closed behind him and strode quickly down the hall. Jake had utterly no interest in anything Fallyn had to say. It had been four days since Jake found out she had lost her virginity to his brother and he hadn't allowed her to say a single word to him. It wasn't that she hadn't tried; in fact Fallyn had cornered him every chance she got but Jake wasn't willing to let her suck him back into her trap. As Jake entered the kitchen he bumped into the other person he was furious with. He wasn't sure who he was angrier with Fallyn or Josh. Josh was his brother and he should have told Jake he slept with Fallyn as soon as he told him he had feelings for her. Even worse Jake had caught Josh trying to talk Fallyn out of being with him. Josh grabbed Jake's arm as he attempted to side step him to the refrigerator. "Jake talk to me." He said angrily.  
"I don't have shit to say to you." Jake replied as he yanked his arm out of his brothers grasp.  
"You have no reason to be mad at her Jake. We slept together years ago back when you still hated her it shouldn't be a big deal."  
"What about you?" Jake shot back, "I think I have plenty reason to be mad at you!"  
"I know I should have told you ok?"  
"You were basically trying to talk her out of being with me! Why do you have to have everything Josh? Why couldn't you just let me be happy for once?"  
"I'm sorry Jake... I was just jealous she chose you over me."  
Josh's words did little more than annoy him and he wanted to haul off and punch him in the mouth. Was it that unfathomable for Fallyn to like Jake? 'Yeah I guess so.' Jake told himself upon remembering that he had just been some pawn in Fallyn's game.  
"Jake!" Josh said angrily, "Stop being so fucking stubborn. Fallyn wants to be with You not me! Your being a fucking asshole over something that happened years ago that she can't change! I'm the one who got attached not her!"  
"That's bull Josh. If it didn't mean anything to her she would have told me."  
"You are so blind Jake. She was just trying to protect herself. We both knew this is how you would react."  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jake asked. He couldn't believe that Josh was actually making him out to be the bad guy when clearly he was the only one who hadn't done anything wrong.  
"Jake..." Josh began slowly, Jake could tell he was choosing his words carefully and it just made him angrier. "You're the most thick skulled person I've ever met. You act like everything that goes wrong is some type of plot against you! And its not! You need to man up and make things right with Fallyn before someone else snatches her up!"  
Jake rolled his eyes and decided not to comment on anything his brother had just said.  
"You know how amazing she is." Josh continued, "She's not going to wait around for you to realize how stubborn you're being forever."  
Jake shook his head and walked around to the refrigerator. This time Josh made no effort to stop him and then left the kitchen shortly after.

Fallyn was sitting on her bed twirling her cell phone in her hand. She was starting to go stir crazy up in the room she shared with Jake but she had no motivation to do anything else. Jake was being ice cold to her and she felt alone without his companionship. Fallyn couldn't help but think she had brought his iciness upon herself. She knew from the beginning she should have told Jake that she had once slept with Josh but she was scared of upsetting him and she didn't see the harm of keeping that one particular memory to herself. It had been a one time thing and she had zero intentions of doing it again. Josh had always been her best friend and nothing more. In hindsight she realized sleeping with him was a mistake and she wished she would have been up front with Jake from the beginning. Besides grieving what was almost a relationship between her and Jake she also felt an immense guilt towards Josh. She had no clue that Josh had any type of feelings for her that weren't platonic and now that she did she didn't know what she was supposed to do. Fallyn saw Josh as a brother and the thought of him liking her seemed absurd. Although he was far nicer to her than Jake was Fallyn's relationship with Josh had been strained over the last couple of days. An awkward tension hung in the air whenever they were in the room together and their conversations didn't last more than five minutes for fear of Jake walking into the room and screaming at them. _'Can I ever have a relationship without fucking it up?'_ Fallyn thought sadly. Josh had promised he would fix everything between Fallyn and Jake but as far as she knew he still hadn't had any luck. However she was still grateful he was even making an effort considering he didn't want Jake and Fallyn to be together in the first place.

Fallyn looked up as the door handle began to turn and she hoped it was Jake coming to make up with her. She couldn't help but feel disappointed when the door opened and she saw that it was Josh. "Hey." He said softly.  
Fallyn gave him a small smile and tried to hide her disappointment. "Jake will kill you if he finds you in here." She replied.  
Josh shrugged and sat down on the bed next to her. "I'm not scared of him."  
"Any luck with him?"  
"No sorry. You know how stubborn he is."  
Fallyn nodded and although she did indeed know how stubborn Jake could be she was still saddened by his unwillingness to forgive her. She had been under the impression he had real feelings for her and if that were the case he should have forgiven her. Now Fallyn was starting to think his sincerity was short lived and that the isolation in the cabin was the only thing that had brought them together.  
"Fallyn can I ask you something?"  
"Sure." Fallyn replied halfheartedly. She wanted her conversation with Josh to end so she could go back to sulking as soon as possible.  
"What do you see in him? Just out of curiosity."  
As Fallyn thought about her answer and memories flooded back to her she was unable to suppress a smile. "When we first went up to the cabin I honestly didn't think anything would happen between us but it did and even though he's being an asshole I'm glad. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh so hard I feel like I'm going to throw up and I feel like he really understands me and how crazy I can be. I know you don't see it very often but he can be so sweet when he wants to be." Fallyn sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "You don't know what I'd to have it be like it was back at the cabin."  
Josh nodded, "I'm sorry I messed up everything for you."  
Fallyn shrugged, "its ok... You can't help the way you feel I guess."  
Josh grimaced, "It was selfish of me to even say anything. Its not like I'm head over heals for you or anything... no offense. I was just jealous and bitter you would choose him over me. How fucked is that? I'm not better than my brother. I don't know why I was even thinking like that. I love my brother and I love you and if you two are happy together I shouldn't have tried to get in the way."  
"Well I guess we weren't as happy as I thought or he wouldn't have flipped out on me like that."  
Josh wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. "He'll come around."  
"Yeah I hope so."  
Fallyn wrapped her arms around his waist and gently squeezed. "I love you Joshua." She said.  
"I love you too." He replied.  
Josh stood up and walked across the room. For a few short moments Fallyn was filled with hope for her and Jake but it was short lived. As soon as Josh pulled open the door to exit the room she knew his timing couldn't have been worse.

As Jake made to enter his bedroom he walked directly into his brother. Immediately his face began to turn red in anger. _'They're already sneaking around my back.'_ Jake thought furiously.  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jake yelled angrily, "stay the hell out of my room!"  
"I was talking to Fallyn." Josh replied calmly. Jake was irritated by how calm he was and would have preferred it Josh would have yelled back.  
"Planning on running away together?' Jake said venomously.  
"We were talking about you actually." Josh shot back, "besides you two have already done that."  
"Stay out of my room."  
"I'll go wherever the hell I want this is my house too."  
"I don't care stay out. If you want to talk to Fallyn you can do it in your own fucking room."  
"You know what Jake I knew you were stubborn but I never knew you were this dumb. For Fallyn's sake I hope she gives up on you."  
Josh shoulder checked Jake as he walked past him and then stormed down the hall. Jake stood motionless feeling shaken by his brother's words. Nothing Josh had said up until that point had really reached him but the thought of Fallyn giving up on him struck him. He didn't want to be given up on by anyone and there had been many times he had feared his father had given up on him. Jake wondered every day whether Josh had given up on him but he couldn't bare to have Fallyn lose faith in him too.

Finally Jake felt himself giving in; _'maybe I should at least talk to her.' _Jake reasoned. He walked into the room and sat down beside Fallyn on her bed. She looked over at him and the pained anxious expression on her face made Jake feel guilty. He chose to look down at his lap instead so perhaps he wouldn't feel so disappointed with himself.  
"Are you finally going to talk to me?" Fallyn asked when Jake didn't say anything.  
"Yeah." He replied. A simple answer but Jake couldn't think of anything else to say.  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what happened with Josh. I know it was stupid but I thought it would make you not want to be with me... and I was right."  
"Of course I want to be with you Fallyn... But the thought of you and him together makes my stomach turn. How can I trust you now?"  
"It was one time!" Fallyn said almost angrily.  
"But it was your first time Fallyn." Jake replied, "the most important time."  
"That's not how it was for me Jake! I just wanted to get it over with. There weren't any feelings involved! I have feelings for you Jacob that should be enough."  
"Well it isn't enough. All I can think about is you and him. I don't think I can get over it."  
"This is bullshit Jacob!" Fallyn had reached her boiling point and Jacob was weary of continuing the conversation any further.  
"All you've been doing these last couple of days is making me feel like shit just like Elijah did." Fallyn continued, "and I don't want to deal with it anymore."  
"I am nothing like Elijah!" Jake replied defensively.  
"You make me cry, you scream at me without giving me a chance to defend myself, and you jump to the worst conclusion every time. How is that any different than what he did?"  
Jake couldn't think of a single word to reply with. Fallyn was right and he was disgusted with himself. Now her crime seemed very small compared to the punishment he had been giving her. If he really had feelings about her shouldn't he have willingly forgiven her? Jake knew he cared for her deeply but more than anything she had hurt his pride and that was a hard pill for him to swallow. The question was what was more important to him his pride or Fallyn.  
Jake sighed and grabbed Fallyn's hand. "I'm sorry." He said softly, "I over reacted. Let's just... forget about this."  
Fallyn shook her head and pulled her hand out of Jake's grasp. "I'm not just going to forget about this! You made me feel horrible about myself. You mean a lot to me but... This is not ok Jake. I just got out of one relationship that was bad for me and I don't want to get into another."  
"I'm not bad for you Fallyn."  
"I don't know that for sure Jacob and I don't want to take that chance right now. I just want to get better."  
Jake suddenly felt like an idiot for everything he had said and done to her. He had quite possibly blown his chance with the most amazing girl he knew. "How can I change your mind?" Jake asked quietly.  
Fallyn shrugged and wiped away the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. "Hopefully you'll find a way."  
Jake nodded and was unable to think of anything else to say. They sat in silence on Fallyn's bed but Jake's mind was racing. _'How can I get her back?' _Jake asked himself. He had absolutely no idea how but if there was a way he was determined to find it.

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
i'll love you more than Norman loves to...not say anything at all...ever ahahaha**


	11. Chapter 11

Jake peeked through the living room curtains and clenched his jaw upon seeing that Fallyn and Josh were still not pulling up. Josh had taken Fallyn to the courthouse to see about getting a restraining order against Elijah. Fallyn had been putting it off but over the last few days he had been calling her incessantly and she finally agreed it couldn't wait any longer. Jake was disappointed Fallyn asked Josh to go with her instead of him but he couldn't be mad at her; It was his own fault she was upset with him. Over the last few days Jake had been doing his best to prove his feelings for Fallyn were sincere by being as good to her as possible but it wasn't enough. Fallyn was holding a grudge against him and he couldn't blame her. Still he was determined to show her he was the one for her. The only one for her. _'I'm so stupid.' _Jake thought to himself as he replayed everything he had done to push Fallyn away in his mind.

Jake made his way over to the couch and plopped down. He picked up a _Nascar _magazine off of the coffee table and began to flip through it. It was another half an hour before he heard the familiar sound of Josh's car pull into the driveway. Jake stood up and briefly considered meeting them outside but decided it would be best just to wait for them in the living room. Jake's patience was just about to reach its breaking point when the front door opened and Fallyn and Josh entered the house. "What happened?" Jake asked as soon as they entered the living room. Fallyn gave him a weak smile and Jake felt his stomach dance. Even a weak smile from her meant a lot at the moment.  
"It went ok." Fallyn replied, "Elijah should be getting the papers in the mail in the next few days."  
"How do you feel?"  
Fallyn shrugged, "I'm going upstairs for a shower."  
Jake nodded but frowned as Fallyn exited the room and slowly walked up the stairs. Fallyn had been refusing to open up to Jake and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to know what was going on in her head but more often than not her responses to him were no more than a shrug or nod. Jake tore his gaze from the staircase and looked at his brother. He wasn't sure what to make of the expression of Josh's face but he knew he didn't like it. "What's that look on your face for?" Jake spat.  
Josh shrugged, "Nothing. I was just wondering if you care so much about Fallyn why aren't you doing anything to prove it to her."  
"Fuck off Josh. You don't know what you're talking about I am proving it to her."  
Josh rolled his eyes, "So you're being nice to her so what? You need to show her you care not just tell her."  
"Why don't you mind your own fucking business dude?"  
"Fine but if I were you I'd be waiting upstairs for her to get out of the shower to make sure she's ok."  
"Well as much as you'd like to be me you're not." Jake snapped. Josh spared Jake a dirty look before exiting the living room and heading to the kitchen. "Fuck." Jake mumbled under his breath as he realized waiting upstairs for Fallyn to finish showering was exactly what he was going to do.

Fallyn inhaled deeply as she ran shampoo through her hair and took in the familiar scent of cucumber melon. Her eyes were heavy from lack of sleep and they burned from the combination of shampoo and tears. She was terrified of how Elijah was going to react when he opened his mailbox and saw that she had filed a restraining order against him. What was worse than thoughts of Elijah was not having Jake to share them with. Jake had asked her if she wanted to talk numerous times but Fallyn couldn't bring herself to confide in him again. She had poured her heart out to him on numerous occasions just for him to turn his back on her and she wasn't willing to take that chance again. Fallyn was so frustrated from being apart from Jake that she wanted to tear her hair out. She missed his body against hers while they slept, their fingers being entwined together, and being able to look at him and tell he was thinking the same exact thing she was. Still she was tired of being hurt; Fallyn just wanted to be in a healthy relationship for once and she had a nagging suspicion that a relationship with Jake would never be healthy.

When she was finished showering she changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top and then wiped the steam off of the mirror to gaze at her reflection. Fallyn wrinkled her nose in disgust as she looked at herself in the mirror. It only took Fallyn a few seconds to realize that she needed a change. Fallyn removed her piercings from her nose and eyebrow and dropped them into the trash. She stooped down and began rummaging around under the sink. Fallyn cursed Jake for storing so many unnecessary items there but after a few minutes found what she was looking for. Fallyn had purchased hair dye when she had first moved in but hadn't gotten around to using it. Fallyn smiled as she mixed the dye. She hoped that if she looked a little different maybe she would feel a little different too.

Jake was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling wishing Fallyn would hurry up in the bathroom. He had been waiting for her in their room for almost an hour and a half and the shower had been off for almost an hour. Jake rolled his eyes in frustration as he heard the blow dryer turn on. _'Hurry up Fallyn.' _He found himself pleading. Jake wasn't sure what he was in such a hurry to talk to Fallyn about but it was important. Jake was determined to tell her anything and everything that popped into his head. After another twenty minutes Jake heard the bathroom door open and he automatically stood up. When Fallyn entered the room Jake's mouth fell open in surprise. She had removed all her piercings from her face and her hair was straightened to perfection. It was no longer a random mixture of red and black it was now a solid deep black but it also reminded Jake of a dark navy. He thought she looked amazing and it took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts and tell her. "You look beautiful." He finally choked out.  
"Thanks." She replied.  
Jake frowned for a moment at Fallyn's lack of enthusiasm but quickly recovered.  
"Can we talk?" Jake asked.  
"About what?" Fallyn asked as she sat down on her bed. She ran her hands through her hair and Jake was once again distracted by how beautiful she looked. "Um... about anything. I just want you to talk to me again."  
"Like friends?"  
"Yes... But no. I don't want to go back to being just your friend."  
"I'm sorry Jake but I don't trust you anymore. That's all I can give you and even that I'm unsure about."  
"What's it going to take to get you to want me again?"  
Fallyn rolled her eyes, "I want you now Jacob but I want the one I knew at the cabin. I don't want to be with the jealous insensitive you."  
"Fallyn I fucked up I know. Are you really going to hold that against me forever?"  
Fallyn shook her head, "I just want you to prove it was a one time thing."  
"I... I don't know how Fallyn."  
"Jake if you care about me it shouldn't be that hard to prove it."

That night Fallyn was sleeping peacefully in her bed while Jake tossed and turned in his. It wasn't until 3:00AM that he realized what he should have taken care of the minute they left the cabin. Jake felt guilty that he had taken so long. _'She probably thinks I wasn't serious about it.'_ Jake thought sadly. He climbed out of bed and quietly exited the room. Jake padded down the hall to his brother's room not caring that it was 3:00 in the morning. He pushed open the door and clicked on the light.  
"What the fuck?" Josh groaned as he pulled his blanket over his head. Jake walked over to his brother's bed and kicked it until Josh gave him his full attention. "What do you want?" Josh asked angrily.  
"I want to know how to get to Fallyn's parents house." Jake replied in a loud whisper.  
Josh propped himself up on his elbows and squinted up at his brother, "What... why?"  
"Fallyn misses them."  
"So you two are just going to get in the car and show up at her parent's house?"  
"Well... Yeah."  
"So this is how you think you're going to prove to her you care about her?"  
Jake furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't like his brothers tone at all. Josh was making it sound like Jake's idea was foolish when Jake was confident Fallyn would be pleased.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jake asked.  
"I'm not saying it's not a cool thing for you to try and do but I can promise you right now Fallyn won't go."  
"What are you talking about? Fallyn told me she wants to see them."  
"Fallyn has said that a million times over the last few years Jake but she can't work up the courage to go."  
"Don't they only live like 15 minutes away?"  
"No they moved they live like four hours away now."  
Jake rolled his eyes, "Whatever can you just give me the address."  
"Fine." Josh said unenthusiastically as he climbed out of bed. Josh walked over to his desk and grabbed his phone book out of the drawer. He unceremoniously ripped the page containing Fallyn's parents address out and handed it to Jake.  
"Thanks." Jake said.  
"Yeah yeah." Josh said as he climbed back into bed and pulled the blanket over his head.

Jake returned to his room and buried the piece of paper in the pocket of one of his jackets before climbing back into his bed. Unsurprisingly he was unable to sleep; all Jake could think about was Josh saying Fallyn wouldn't be willing to go see her parents. The balloon of hope Jake had been filled with felt punctured as he imagined Fallyn's refusal she was sure to give him the following morning. _'No.'_ Jake told himself, _'I'm going to give Fallyn her family back whether she wants to or not.'_

when Fallyn woke up the next morning she was surprised to see Jake wasn't in his bed. She usually woke up hours before him. Fallyn fixed her pajamas as she walked across the room and down the hall. Fallyn walked past the bathroom and noted that Jake wasn't there either. She entered the kitchen and found Josh sitting at the island eating a bowl of cereal. "Morning." She said as she sat across from him.  
"Morning." he replied.  
Fallyn peered over Josh's shoulder to the living room and saw Jake wasn't there either.  
"He isn't here." Josh said before Fallyn even had a chance to form the question.  
"Where is he?" She replied.  
Josh shrugged and continued to eat his cereal.  
Fallyn rolled her eyes, "I know you know where he is."  
"I don't."  
"You're a horrible liar Joshua."  
Josh gave her a reluctant grin, "ok I have an idea where he is."  
Fallyn raised her eyebrows, "Are you going to tell me?"  
Fallyn was very uncomfortable with how shady Josh was being and she wanted answers.  
Josh shook his head and shoveled more cereal into his mouth, "Nope. I guess we'll just have to see if I'm right when he gets back. I really hope I'm right though."

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	12. Chapter 12

By the time Jake reached Fallyn's parents house it was no longer morning and the air was sticky with heat. He pulled into the driveway and vaguely acknowledged how odd it must look to Fallyn's parents if they were looking out of the window and saw him pull up to their house. As Jake stepped out of his truck he was greeted by a gray great dane sniffing his pant leg incessantly. Jake wished the dog wasn't quite so large but gave in and scratched him behind the ear nonetheless. "Lucy come here!" Jake heard someone call. The dog briefly licked Jake's hand and then trotted to the man just outside of the front door. Jake only had to take one look at him to tell he was Fallyn's father. He was shorter than Jake but his height made little difference. Jake was still instantly intimidated by him. He could see right away Fallyn's gather was the type of man who wouldn't take any crap from anyone. _'like pops.' _Jake thought fleetingly. "What are you doing in my driveway?" Fallyn's dad called to him. Jake began walking up the winding driveway and felt his heart banging in his chest. The look on Fallyn's fathers face told Jake he shouldn't get too close or he just might knock him out. Jake stopped at what he decided was a safe distance and took a deep breath, "Hi I'm Jacob and um... I'm a friend of your daughters."

"Josh where is he?" Fallyn said angrily as she shadowed Josh into his bedroom.  
"Fallyn relax!" Josh shot back. His voice was filled with a combination of annoyance and amusement, "he'll be back soon."  
"How do you know? Where did he go?"  
Josh chuckled, "why are you so worried? He's a grown man he knows what he's doing."  
Fallyn bit her bottom lip and sat cross legged on Josh's bed. Fallyn didn't have a solid reason she was so worried about Jake she just was. What was most upsetting to her was that Jake didn't even say goodbye to her. _'Get over it!' _She told herself, _'he'll be back in a few hours.' _Fallyn sighed and laid back on Josh's bed. She studied a hole in the wall Josh had made as a teenager and tried not to think about Jake. All thoughts of him were driven from her mind however when she heard the familiar roaring sound of a 1949 Chevy pick ip pulling into the driveway. Fallyn stood up and rushed to Josh's bedroom window. Every part of her hoped she had imagined the sound of Elijah's engine. However upon gazing down at the driveway she knew it was no mistake. Elijah stepped out of his truck slamming the door behind him and fixed his sunglasses before walking to the front door. Fallyn's whole body trembled as he hammered on the front door.  
"What's he doing here?" Josh asked angrily as he joined her at the window.  
"I don't know." Fallyn replied weakly.  
"Its too soon for him to have gotten the restraining order Fallyn. Did you invite him over?"  
Fallyn rounded on him and placed her hands on her hips. She had an overwhelming urge to slap him across the face. "I wouldn't invite him here!" Fallyn snapped.  
"Whatever." Josh mumbled, "I'm going to go get rid of him." Fallyn narrowed her eyes and turned her back on him so she was once again facing the window. A few seconds later Josh exited the room and she listened as he stomped down the stairs.

Fallyn's father looked Jake up and down with little expression on his face. "You're Fallyn's friend?" He finally asked.  
Jake nodded unable to think of an appropriate response.  
"What are you doing here?"  
Jake cleared his throat and removed his baseball cap from his head, "well I know your daughter really misses you so I thought that I'd..."  
"You'd what?"  
"Try and talk to you."  
Fallyn's father raised himself up to his full height and crossed his arms, "there is nothing to talk about and I'd appreciate it if you removed yourself from my property."  
Jake nodded and dug his hands in his pockets, "I'm sorry... I was just trying to help."  
"Nobody asked for your help."  
Jake turned and quickly strode down the driveway. He could feel Fallyn's fathers eyes on him as he walked and Jake was nearly all the way to his car when he stopped in his tracks. Since when did listen to _anything_ he was told?  
Jake turned and marched back towards Fallyn's father. His eyes widened in surprise as Jake reached him but the quickly narrowed into a menacing glare. However Jake didn't falter under his gaze. "Look I love your daughter." As soon as Jake said it he knew it was true, "and I'd do anything for her. I'm not leaving until you talk to me."  
"There is nothing to talk about!" Fallyn's father repeated angrily. Before Jake could respond he stepped inside and slammed the door in his face. "I'm not going anywhere!" Jake screamed at the top of his lungs. Jake walked away from the house and climbed into his truck. However he did not start the car. Jake was prepared to sit there and wait as long as it took.

Fallyn shielded her ears with her hands as the sounds of Josh and Elijah screaming at each other floated upstairs. She heard Josh inform Elijah of the restraining order and he was not at all happy about it. Fallyn was terrified that at any moment Elijah was going to knock Josh to the ground then race upstairs and find her. Fallyn had encountered Elijah's anger numerous times and she was not eager to meet it again. The yelling lasted for nearly an hour and when it ended Fallyn hesitantly lowered her hands then raced to the window. Surprised was not a powerful enough word to describe how Fallyn felt when she saw Elijah get back into his truck and peel off down the street. Not once had she ever sen him back down to anyone. Fallyn waited a few moments for Josh to come upstairs but when he didn't she left the room and hurried down the stairs. When Fallyn reached the bottom she walked directly into Josh whose face was red with anger.  
"What happened?" Fallyn asked breathlessly.  
"What do you mean?" Josh replied.  
"How did you get him to leave?"  
Josh shrugged and walked into the living room. "Why does it matter?" He called over his shoulder, he's gone isn't he?" Fallyn followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch, "but I want to know Joshua."  
"Too bad. I'm not going to waste my breath talking about him especially since I just wasted so much time talking to him."  
Fallyn stood up and folded her arms across her chest. "You don't have to be an asshole."  
Fallyn said angrily, "I didn't invite him over."  
Josh sighed and ran his hand across his forehead, "I know and I'm sorry."  
He held open his arms and Fallyn immediately wrapped her arms tightly around him.  
"Why did he have to leave today?" Fallyn asked sadly. Josh grimaced and rubbed her back, "Don't worry he'll be back soon."  
"I hope so."  
Fallyn rested her head against Josh's chest and closed her eyes. In that moment she would have given anything to be in his brother's arms. _'Hurry up and come home Jake.'_ She pleaded.

The sun had been down for hours and Jake was still parked in front of Fallyn's parents house. Both Fallyn's mother and father had peered of out the curtains several times to see if Jake was still there but he made no effort to leave. He didn't care his stomach was uncomfortable empty and his throat was sore and dry. He was there for Fallyn and he was not going to let her down. Just as Jake's eyes began to close and his head started to droop the front door opened and light cascaded down the driveway. Jake was relieved to see Fallyn's mother standing in the doorway and not her father. She gestured for him to come over and Jake slowly got out of his truck. As he walked to her he found he was more nervous meeting her than he was meeting Fallyn's father. "You must have something real important to say since you've been sitting out here all day." Fallyn's mother said sweetly.  
"Yes. I love your daughter and she misses you so much. I just want to help her." Jake replied.  
"Help her with what?"  
"Look my dad died not that long ago and I would do anything to have him back. There is so much I want to tell him. I don't want Fallyn to make the same mistake I did."  
Fallyn's mother nodded. "Come inside?" She asked.  
"Yeah sure." Jake replied. His heart pounded as he followed her into the spotless house. Jake imagined Fallyn's mother had to spend hours a day meticulously cleaning. She led him into the living room where Fallyn's father was already sitting. Jake avoided eye contact and sat down on the couch across from him. "I'm Ally." Fallyn's mom said as tension filled the room, "and this is my husband James."  
"Nice to meet you." Jake replied.  
"How is she?" Ally asked after a few long moments.  
"She needs her family."  
"She had a family." James cut in angrily, "but she ruined it for herself."  
"How did she ruin it for herself?" Jake was trying his very best to keep his temper under control but he was having a very hard time.  
"She did everything she should have! She smoked, she drank, she got tattoos, she back talked, she hung out with people she shouldn't have, and she was just a pain in the ass in general! Her brother was such a good kid... He did everything he was..."  
"Its not Fallyn's fault he killed himself!"  
James stood up and Jake mirrored him in an instant. "Don't put words in my mouth!" James yelled.  
"I'm not! But Fallyn is beautiful, sweet and the most clever girl I know! So what she has a rebellious streak she's still your daughter!" Jake replied.  
"You don't know what you're talking about kid!"  
"You already lost a son how can you be so willing to lose a daughter too?"  
"I miss her so much." Ally muttered softly.  
After a minute or so James faced Jake once more. "If Fallyn misses us so much why are you here and not her?" James asked.  
"Because..." Jake replied, "I think she was scared you wouldn't want to see her and frankly after meeting you I can't blame her. All she wants is the people she loves to love her back. I don't think that's too much to ask for."  
"Of course I love her back. She's my only daughter." James said softly, his voice breaking as he spoke. Jake was surprised by the pain in James' voice. He suspected it had been well hidden for years.  
"Then show her." Jake replied.  
"How?"  
Again Jake was surprised. It was not everyday a man like James asked him for advice.  
"Well..." Jake began, "you can start by letting me take you to see her."

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**


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n Ok so i know its been a while... a long while xD but i've been super busy lately. Hopefully things will start dying down again and I'll get right back to posting every other day (:**

Fallyn covered her face with her hand as the sun crept into her room and assaulted her eyes. Fallyn kept her eyes squeezed tightly shut and turned and faced the wall. It wasn't until the possibility of Jake's return floated into her mind that she sat up. She felt deflated when she looked at Jake's bed and saw that it was still empty. Fallyn found it odd that he had been gone overnight and hadn't even bothered sending her a text telling her where he was. Fallyn searched her bed for a sock that had somehow escaped her foot in her sleep and after pulling it clumsily back on climbed out of bed and headed downstairs.

As she turned the corner to enter the living room Fallyn prayed Jake would be sitting on the couch with his signature sly smile. Again she was disappointed. Fallyn curled up on the couch and turned on the TV, already she had a strong urge to go back upstairs and climb back into bed. Jake had only been gone a day and she was missing him like he had been gone weeks. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him with as much passion as she could muster. Fallyn was beginning to feel foolish for telling Jake he had to prove he cared about her. _'I probably scared him away.'_ She thought sadly, _'I should have just believed him.'_ Fallyn's head snapped up as she heard crunching gravel as a car pulled into the driveway. She listened closely but the absence of loud music told her that it was Josh who had just pulled into the driveway and not Jake. Disappointment washed over her but it was quickly replaced with confusion as Josh entered the living room and peered out of the window. "Looks like Jake is back." Josh said calmly.  
Fallyn leapt to her feet, "really?" She said excitedly.  
Josh laughed, "Yep. You act like he's been gone a year."  
Fallyn ignored his response and quickly ran her hands through her unruly hair before striding to the front door and then outside. Jake climbed out of his truck with a wide smile on his face. Fallyn noted that there were two people sitting in the passenger and back seats but Jake's windows were to dark for her to see who they were. She didn't particularly care anyway all she was worried about was Jake. Fallyn's chest tightened in anticipation as he walked towards her. Her stomach exploded in butterflies when Jake slowly reached out his hand and stroked her cheek. It felt so right and Fallyn wondered why she had been trying so hard to push him away in the first place.  
"I missed you Jacob." She said softly.  
"Really?" He asked.  
"Yeah. I know you weren't gone that long but... You didn't even say goodbye."  
"I'm sorry."  
"It's ok... But Jake?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you kiss me? Please?"  
Fallyn raised her eyebrows in surprise as blush crept up his cheeks.  
"Well..." He said slowly, "I'm dying to kiss you but I don't think I should... Just yet."  
"Why?" Fallyn asked. She tried to hide her disappointment but it was no easy task. The previous night her dreams had been filled with Jake's lips against hers.  
Jake gestured to his truck and Fallyn tried to see who was inside. For a few moments she had forgotten they were even there. "Who is that Jake?" She asked.  
Before Jake could respond a door opened and her father stepped out. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Fallyn wasn't sure what she had been expecting but it certainly hadn't been her father. Another door opened and her mother stepped out making her feel weak in the knees. It seemed impossible that her parents were standing only yards away from her. She hadn't seen more than pictures of them in years. "What are they doing here Jake?" Fallyn asked softly. She was surprised by just how small her voice was.  
Jake cleared his throat and grabbed her hand, "I went to go see them and I asked them to come back with me. I just want you to have your family back."  
The affection she felt for Jake at that moment was almost overwhelming. She never imagined he would go that much out of his way for her and she found herself wondering if she was in love with him. "Jake I don't know what to say."  
Jake smiled, "Well saying hi to them would be a good start."

Jake's heart raced. He found he was incredibly nervous as Fallyn walked over to her parents. It had been far easier than he expected to convince Fallyn's parents to return to the house with him. He knew James loved his daughter even though he had learned how to hide it very well. Now that her parents were there however he had no idea what to expect. How do you greet your family after years of not seeing them? With a simple hello? Or did you throw yourself into their arms? Jake got his answer as Fallyn threw her arms around James' neck and held on tightly. In an instant Fallyn broke down into tears. It was only a few more moments before James broke down as well. Her mother stepped closer to them and James pulled her into the hug. Jake felt like an intruder on the reunion and slowly walked to the porch where Josh was standing there waiting for him. Jake's eyes widened in surprise as Josh pulled him into a bone shattering hug. "What the fuck man?" Jake asked when they pulled apart. He massaged his ribs and took a step back as he eyed his brother suspiciously.  
"I can't believe you brought them here." Josh replied. Jake waited for the explosion. He couldn't believe Josh was about to yell at him when he worked so hard to bring Fallyn's family back together.  
"I'm really... really proud of you." Josh continued.  
Jake was shocked. The last thing he expected was those words to come out of his brother's mouth. He had been anticipating Josh scolding him like usual.  
"Are you really?"  
"Yeah... I really am and dad would be too. I can't believe you did this for her."  
Jake cleared his throat and decided to look at the ground instead of his brother. He didn't like the feeling that was erupting in the pit of his stomach. Jake was embarrassed and he could feel blush creeping up his cheeks.  
"Well..." Jake began, "I didn't really have a choice. I'm in love with her."  
Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise, "are you really?"  
"Yeah I am."  
"Does she know what?"  
Jake looked back at his brother and shook his head, "no I haven't told her yet."  
Josh chuckled, "why not?"  
"Because... Well... I don't know. What if she laughs or something?" Jake began to feel more embarrassed as the words tumbled out of his mouth. It sounded incredibly juvenille but still it was what he felt.  
"She isn't going to laugh Jake."  
"How do you know?"  
"Because if you can't look at her and tell she loves you... Or is at least falling in love with you you're a little slow dude."

Fallyn's whole body felt weak as she held tightly onto her parents. She was in complete and total shock. She couldn't believe what Jake had done. she just couldn't wrap her head around it. Fallyn wanted to throw herself into his arms and thank him but not only did she not currently have the strength to tear herself away from her parents but she couldn't think of strong enough words to describe what she was feeling. When she finally untangled herself from her parents arms her father cupped her face in his hands and gave her weak smile. "I love you Fallyn." He said softly, "and I know I've got a lot of making up to do... but I promise I'll do it. I won't let you down again ok?"  
"How could you let our family fall apart? I needed you guys and you just let me go."  
"I know sweetie and I've regretted it every single day since I lost you. I know you don't trust me right now and I understand that... but I'm finally going to be a good father... like you always deserved."  
Fallyn nodded and unsuccessfully tried to stem the flow of tears that rained down her face. She never thought she would hear those words come out of her father's mouth and now that she was she was almost afraid to believe them. "I promise Fallyn." He added.  
"Me too." Fallyn's mother said softly as she placed a soft kiss on her daughters cheek.  
"Ok... I believe you." Fallyn replied.

Fallyn grabbed her mothers hand and led her and her father up the driveway. As they walked inside she gave Jake the most meaningful look she could. She wanted to tell him how grateful she was to him and how badly she wanted him back. Fallyn hoped the look in her eyes was enough to tell him. The trio walked into the living room and sat down in a row on the couch. Fallyn and her parents sat and talked for hours. At first the conversation was stiff and awkward but after a while it flowed freely and naturally almost as if they hadn't been apart. It wasn't until Fallyn's parents stood up to leave that Fallyn began to feel upset. What if they walked of her life again this time for good? Her father brushed her bangs out of her face and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going to lose you again ok sweetie? We'll be back to see you again in a few days."  
"Promise?" Fallyn asked. As she waited for his response she felt like a small child waiting to be told whether or not they were going to get to go to disney land.  
"I promise."  
Fallyn smiled and gave each of her parents each a long hug before walking them outside. Jake and Josh were still sitting outside together on the porch and Fallyn couldn't wait to get her hands on Jake. He stood up as soon as he saw them and Fallyn was filled with a small aching sadness as she remembered Jake would have to drive her parents home. She would have to wait even longer to tell him how she felt. Before climbing into Jake's truck Fallyn's mother turned to Fallyn and smiled. "Don't let that boy go." She said as she nodded in Jake's direction, "he really cares about you and I think we've all got a lot to thank him for."  
Fallyn nodded and gave her mom one last hug before allowing her to get back into the truck. After giving her father a hug and kiss on the cheek she turned on her heals and marched over to Jake who was standing awkwardly on the porch steps. "When you get back we have a lot to talk about." She said firmly.  
"About what?" Jake replied. She could hear in his voice that he was hesitant about getting into an argument with her. Instead of replying Fallyn grabbed him and pulled him down to her. She kissed him hard and filled it with as much passion as she could muster. Words couldn't describe how head over heals she currently felt for him. When they pulled apart Jake look punch drunk and Fallyn's cheeks burned bright red as her father wolf whistled from the car. Jake smiled. It was that playful sly grin that Fallyn was so crazy about. "I don't think I'm going to mind having that conversation." He said over his shoulder as he walked down the driveway.

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I'll love you more than Jake Anderson loves his NW jacket.**


	14. Chapter 14

As Jake drove home from Fallyn's house his heart erratically in his chest. He couldn't wait to get home and talk to Fallyn and get her back. Still he was trying not to get his hopes up too high. There was still a large possibility that he and Fallyn weren't going to get back together. Fallyn had never been his girlfriend; in fact he had no idea what to call her. All he knew was that short time he was able to call her his was some of the happiest of his life. At the moment Jake was willing to do anything to get her back. Jake's eyes were heavy and he was having an extraordinarily hard time keeping his eyes open and focused on the road. It was nearing midnight and Jake had, had a very long day. As he drove Jake felt as if he was in a distant hazy space between reality and his dreams. The traffic began to slow and it did nothing to help Jake stay awake. The car lights in front of him shined in his face making Jake squint uncomfortably. His eyes and head began to droop; and he saw no more.

_He was on the Cornelia Marie. The coiler was broken and Jake was the unlucky member of the crew selected to coil by hand. He was hunched over and his back was slowly beginning to ache and twinge. His back dripped with sweat and his t-shirts were starting to stick to his body. Jake looked up towards the wheel house and saw his father smiling down at him. "Pops." He said aloud incredulously. Jake dropped the rope he was holding and hurried inside; ignoring the disgruntled mumbling from his fellow ship mates. Jake hurried past the galley and up the wheel house stairs. He hurried into the wheel house and stumbled over his own feet. His mouth fell open in surprise upon seeing the captain's chair empty. "Pops." He repeated. This time it was less audible. He slowly walked to the menacingly empty chair and gripped the soft cushion tightly and closed his eyes. Burning tears snuck out from under his eye lids. "Pops."_

Jake's eyes flickered open and he rubbed them wearily. "What the hell?" Jake said aloud as his dream flooded back to him. His chest began to tighten uncomfortably. And his eyes burned with tears. Jake was distracted and his shoulders began to shake with dry sobs. His vision was blurred and he realized much too late he was going to slam into the car in front of him.

"Fallyn wake up!" Josh said loudly.  
"I'm not asleep." Fallyn said as she pushed herself up on her knees. Fallyn peered at Josh through the darkness of her bedroom and could tell something was wrong. "What happened Josh?" She asked.  
"It's Jake." Before Josh could even finish his sentence Fallyn felt sick to her stomach.  
"He crashed his truck. He's in the hospital." For a moment Fallyn's mind went completely blank and she was torn between the urge to vomit and pass out.  
"Is he ok?" Fallyn asked breathlessly.  
Josh shrugged, "I spoke to him for a second but he sounded like he was in a lot of pain." Fallyn flung herself out of bed and clumsily crammed her feet into a pair of flats. She searched for Josh in the darkness and finally seized his arm. "Let's go!" She said hurriedly, "I need to see him!"

The ride to the hospital Jake been admitted to was a complete blur for Fallyn. Just hours before she had been exceedingly happy; Her parents were going to become part of her life again and it was all thanks to Jake. She had spent the last few hours aching with anticipation of getting back together with him. Now she was filled with nothing but dread._ 'Please let him be ok.'_ She pleaded with anyone and anything who could possibly be listening. Jake had gotten hurt while doing something for her and the guilt consumed her like a rapid hungry flame. Why did everyone she loved always end up hurt?

When the reached the hospital Fallyn hovered impatiently at the front desk while she waited for the nurse to tell her and Josh where Jake's room was. After what seemed an eternity they were given directions to Jake's room. Fallyn walked as fast as she could and unconsciously broke into a run every few feet. When they reached room D133 Fallyn burst inside the room without bothering to knock. Jake was propped up on several pillows and he gave her a small smile. He had several long gashes on his face, his right armed seemed to be broken, and he had bandages wrapped tightly around his torso. Fallyn was at a loss for words; seeing Jake in that state shook her. Fallyn opened her mouth to speak but seemed to have forgotten how to form words. Jake's smile widened, "I know I'm breathtaking but your staring is making me uncomfortable."  
Fallyn smiled and relief swept over her. The man lying in he hospital bed was still _her_ Jake.  
She rolled her eyes, "what a shame that accident didn't knock some humbleness into you."  
Jake snorted in disgust and waved her over to his side. Fallyn tentatively walked over to his side and Josh plopped down in one of the room's several vacant chairs. Fallyn bent over and placed a soft kiss on Jake's forehead. As she straightened and looked down at him she had to fight the overwhelming urge to cry. "I'm sorry." She choked out.  
Jake frowned, "what are you sorry for? You didn't make me fall asleep at the wheel."  
"But still you were on your way back from taking my parents home.  
"Jake shrugged, "it was worth it."  
Josh burst into laughter and Fallyn waited for him to contain himself before she responded. Fallyn ran her finger's through Jake's untidy hair. "Well... At least you made a good impression on my parents. Usually they don't like my boyfriends."  
Jake's face lit up, "boyfriend?"  
"Well... Yeah... Unless of course you don't want to be my boyfriend."  
Jake shook his head rapidly and then winced from the pain he caused himself.  
"You know I want to be your boyfriend Fallyn."

_'Tell her you love her.'_ Jake told himself. But the thought of professing his feelings for Fallyn in front of his brother was cringe worthy. Still he was now Fallyn's boyfriend. _Finally_. If he hadn't had a broken arm and multiple cracked ribs he would have jumped out of bed and held her as tightly as possible. Jake smirked up at Fallyn as she fluffed his pillows and ruffled his hair. The arrogant look on his face did not go unnoticed by Fallyn. "Really soaking it up aren't you?" Fallyn asked as she placed her hands on her hips. Jake released an airy sigh, "I'm just so fragile."  
Fallyn snorted and turned her back on him. "I'm going to get a bottle of water." She said over her shoulder as she left the room.

Josh stood up and took Fallyn's place beside Jake's bed. "You fell asleep at the wheel? What the hell man?" Usually Jake would have gotten defensive and started yelling but he could tell Josh wasn't angry; he was just concerned. "I'm sorry bro." Jake replied, " I thought I could stay awake but the next thing I knew I was out."  
Josh shook his head, "You need to be more careful man. We leave for Dutch in a few months and what if you can't go?"  
"Don't worry the doctor said I'll be fine." Jake paused, he was unsure if he wanted to share what was on his mind. Finally Jake made a decision, " dude when I fell asleep I dreamed about pops."  
Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise, "what happened?"  
"He was watching me on deck from the wheel house so I ran inside to see him... But when I got upstairs he was gone... What do you think it means?"  
Josh sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily, "I think it just means you miss him."  
"I miss him so much dude." Jake replied softly. He was overwhelmed and surprised by the wave of emotion that had just hit him out of no where.  
"I miss him too." Josh said slowly, "I want him back as much as you do... But there is nothing we can do besides try and make him proud."  
Jake nodded and looked down at his weathered hands. They bore the signature calluses and scars of a fisherman. They did little else besides remind him of his father's hands.  
Jake smiled weakly "I don't think he'd be very proud if he could see the way we've been treating each other these last few months."  
Josh nodded in agreement, "he'd kick our asses."  
"Let's try getting along... For once. Starting now?"  
"Agreed."  
Jake smiled; although he and his brother had tried and failed many times to get along this time Jake had a suspicion that it was for real.

"What's going on?" Fallyn said as she entered the room clutching a water bottle.  
"Nothing." The boys replied in unison. Fallyn narrowed her eyes suspiciously as identical grins spread across both boys faces. She rolled her eyes and sat down in the rickety chair closest to Jake's bed. For the next few hours she sat with Jake and Josh and laughed so hard her stomach muscles hurt. It wasn't until a nurse came in and said laughing wasn't good for Jake's ribs that Josh finally stood up and announced he was leaving. Fallyn decided to stay the night with Jake and the nurse brought her a flimsy cot to sleep on. As soon as the nurse left the room however Jake carefully shifted his weight to the edge of the bed and patted the empty spot next to him. Fallyn bit her lip and carefully lifted herself into the narrow space; and leaned back on Jake's pillows. Fallyn turned her head and looked at Jake. Even covered in wounds Jake was beautiful to her. Before she could stop herself words began to spill out of her mouth. "Jake you don't know how much bringing my parents to see me meant. Nobody's ever done anything that... Amazing for me before. I never thought I was going to see them again. I know all of our problems are still there but I feel like we're going to fix them this time and its all thanks to you Jacob."  
Jake gave her a small shrug and soft smile. Fallyn could see that she had embarrassed him; but she didn't care. He meant so much to her and he needed to know what she felt. It was then that Fallyn realized exactly what it was that she was feeling.  
"Jake..." Fallyn continued.  
"What?" He asked.  
"I love you."  
Without hesitation Jake placed his hand on her cheek and rested his forehead against hers, "I love you too Fallyn."  
Fallyn smiled and placed a tender kiss on his lips.  
"Who would have guessed?" Jake whispered. Fallyn grinned and gave him another kiss.  
"No one." She replied.  
Never would anyone have thought that Jacob Harris and Fallyn Kovalevsky would fall in love with each other.

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	15. Chapter 15

Fallyn straddled Jake's waist and lent over to give him a light peck on the lips. A small smile played across Jake's face and his eye lids flickered open. "It's time to get up." Fallyn cooed.  
Jake groaned, "it can't be time to go already."  
Fallyn frowned and brushed the stray hairs off of Jake's forehead. October had come much sooner than Fallyn would have liked and it was now the morning that Jake and Josh left to Dutch Harbor. Fallyn's stomach had been filled with knots all morning thinking about Jake's departure. They had been an official couple little over three months and Fallyn wasn't ready for him to leave just yet. It wasn't that she wasn't feeling secure in their relationship; she and Jake had both matured a lot over last few months, she went to therapy twice a week and was feeling much more comfortable with herself, and her parents stopped by to see her every weekend. They were once again a major part of Fallyn's life and she couldn't be happier. What Fallyn was most nervous about was Jake in general. She was confident he would be safe; he had assured her many times he knew what he was doing. What she was worried about was his reaction to being on the boat without his father. As the date of his departure approached Jake had been exceedingly tight lipped about the whole situation but she could see that he was nervous about it. Fallyn couldn't blame him. Jake had spent almost all of the last six years of his life on the boat with both his father and brother and now a major part of the puzzle was missing. Often Jake would get a far off look in his eyes and Fallyn knew he was thinking of his father. Jake lifted Fallyn off of his waist and on to the bed next to him. She rested her head on his chest and ran her hand through his hair. "I'm going to miss you Jacob." She said softly.  
"I'm going to miss you too. Don't worry as soon as I'm gone you're going to realize how much more peaceful it is without me and then when I get back you'll be looking forward to Opies."  
Fallyn sighed, "I highly doubt that."  
Jake chuckled darkly and held her close to him. "Don't worry I won't be gone that long."  
Fallyn nuzzled herself against him and breathed in the scent of fabric softener and cigarettes. It was a smell she was going to miss immensely once he was gone. Jake placed a kiss on her forehead and then slowly pried her hands off of him. "I need to shower." He said as he climbed off of the bed.

Jake flexed his arm as he made his way to the bathroom; it was still tender from the break. Thankfully when he reached the bathroom it was unoccupied. He was not in the mood to fight with Josh over the bathroom. Surprisingly, the bathroom was the biggest thing that Jake and Josh had been fighting about over the last few months. Besides the bathroom rumbles and the occasional show down over the tv remote they had been getting along better than they had in years. Slowly they were learning to respect each other and their different temperaments. Jake stripped down and turned on the hot water; he quickly stepped under it before he froze in the ice cold bathroom. Jake closed his eyes and allowed the hot water to rain down on his face. He thought back to the dream he had the night of his car accident. This was no uncommon occurrence. He had thought about it many times since that night. Jake was scared to get back on the Cornelia Marie; there was no other word for it. His father had tried to prepare both he and his brother for years about the fact he wasn't going to be around forever but Jake still didn't feel ready to face the world without him. _'Look out for me pops.' _Jake found himself pleading, _'I don't know what to do without you.'_ Jake continued his shower as slowly as possible. He was in no hurry to leave. Jake was going to miss Fallyn immensely and it was going to take a lot of getting used to not having her around every day. He was going to miss her dry perverse sense of humor, the look of triumph on her face whenever she outwitted him, the way she gently massaged his scalp with her fingertips once they laid down to sleep, the soft moan of his name that escaped her lips while in the midst of love making, the way she always knew what was worrying him and her ability to calm his nerves with her constant reassurances, but most of all he was going to miss the feeling of being close to the person he was crazy in love with and knowing even though he had the tendency to act like an asshole every now and then she still loved him too.

Just when Jake decided he could waste no more time in the shower the curtain slid open revealing Fallyn standing completely nude in front of him. He took in her thin porcelain frame for only a second before grabbing her and pulling her under the warm water. Fallyn squealed as Jake pressed her against the cold tile but was muffled when he pressed his lips against hers. She wound her arms around his neck and Jake ran his hands across ever inch of Fallyn's body that he could reach. He lifted her up and Fallyn wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. Jake was lost in the embrace. His mind felt cloudy and the only thing he could focus on was tasting more of Fallyn. She tasted sweet, but not like sugar, more like an exotic fruit. Jake placed himself at Fallyn's entrance and sheathed himself inside of her without warning. Fallyn's whole body shuddered as the two became one. She drug her nails across his back tracing patterns of ecstasy as she went. The slight twinge in his back she caused did nothing but encourage Jake to double his efforts. "I love you Jacob." Fallyn moaned into his ear. Jake smirked, that was his favorite combination of words. He pressed his body even closer to Fallyn's and thrust into her as fast as he could. "I love you." Fallyn echoed as she reached her peak. Her soft moans turned into a scream of pleasure as her body trembled around him. Only a few seconds later Jake tumbled over the edge himself and almost lost his footing in the slick shower. He released Fallyn and after regaining his strength stepped away from her. Jake chuckled, "I'm going to miss that."  
Fallyn rolled her eyes and stepped under the now luke warm water, "I'm sure that's all you'll miss.", she teased.  
Jake stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'll miss everything about you Fallyn."

Hours later Fallyn stood on the porch and watched as Jake and Josh heaved their bags into the back of Jake's truck. In just a few minutes the boys would be leaving for Dutch Harbor and Fallyn was sick to her stomach with anxiety. The house was going to seem much larger and lonelier without her boyfriend and best friend. Jake slammed the trunk closed and motioned her towards him. Fallyn bit her lip and tentatively walked towards him. He held open his arms for her and Fallyn held onto him as tight as she could. "Don't forget about me." Fallyn mumbled into his chest. Josh snorted, "oh yes because the beauty of all that crab far outshines yours.". Fallyn flipped Josh off and then continued to hold on to his brother.  
Jake smiled, "I should say the same to you. What do you plan on doing the whole time I'm gone?"  
Fallyn shrugged, "I'm going to spend a lot of time with my parents hopefully."  
His smile widened, "good I'm glad."  
Fallyn held on to Jake for several more minutes before finally forcing herself to let go and say her final goodbyes to the boys.

A few minutes later she found herself standing back on the porch by herself watching them pull away. Jake mouthed the words _'I love you'_ through the window and Fallyn had to force herself to remain composed. After the car was no longer in her sight she still found herself rooted to the spot. It was a long several minutes before Fallyn finally turned and walked inside the house. She headed straight upstairs and climbed into Jake's bed. Already the house was filled with a still silence that seemed incredibly loud to Fallyn. She pulled her cell phone out from her pocket and searched for the number she needed. Thankfully the line rang only twice before she got an answer. "Hello?" Her mother said warmly.  
"Mom?" Fallyn replied, "can I come see you guys? Jake left... and I don't want to be home alone."  
Fallyn could almost hear her mom smile on the other end, "sure honey. I'll tell your father you're coming."  
"Ok see you soon."  
Fallyn hung up the phone and only paused to pull a sweatshirt over her head before heading outside to her old run down car. She silently prayed that it would be able to make the trip.

The plane ride into Dutch was uneventful as always but Jake had never been as anxious as he was on that particular flight. When they landed the familiar smell of machinery and ocean air met his nostrils, and he instantly felt at home. However landing in Dutch wasn't what he was most nervous about; he was nervous about how he was going to feel when he set his eyes on the Cornelia Marie for the first time in months. She was his home away from home but without his father she seemed like an empty ghostly shell. It was another hour before they reached the docks and when they arrived Jake immediately spotted the Cornelia in the distance. He felt sick to his stomach and he was grateful he had neglected to eat the free food provided on the flight. As they drove closer to the boat in the run down truck Josh had rented Jake suddenly wished he hadn't returned to fish. What was he thinking? Clearly he wasn't ready. Before Jake could open his mouth to voice his concerns Josh grasped his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "Don't worry." He said firmly, "we'll be ok. We're going to work our asses off just like always and make him proud ok?" Jake nodded and fought back the tears that threatened to cascade down his cheeks. "The boat is what we have left of him." Josh continued, "and we're going to keep it running for him deal?"  
"Deal." Jake choked out.  
When they finally arrived in front of the boat Jake was consumed with memories of all the fights, triumphs, and laughs he shared with his father on the monstrous teal vessel. "You ok?" Josh asked, eying his little brother suspiciously. Jake nodded, "c'mon let's show these other boats what the Cornelia Marie is all about."  
Josh let out a hearty laugh, "that's what I like to hear."

When Fallyn arrived at her parents' house she let herself in with the brand new bronze key her parents had given her and headed to the den where her parents loved to sit together in the evenings. "Hey sweetie." Her mom said as soon as she entered the room. Her father stood up and pulled her into a strong embrace. "How are you kiddo?" He asked.  
Fallyn shrugged and pulled away from him. She plopped down in a recliner and sat cross legged. "I just didn't want to spend the first night with Jake and Josh gone alone." James nodded and sat back down on the couch. "They'll be fine you know."  
Fallyn sighed, "yeah I know... But I wish I had more time with Jake before he left. I feel like we barely had time to be a couple."  
"He'll be back before you know it."  
"And then he leaves again."  
"Fallyn I thought you knew what you were getting into with him?"  
"I did... I do... I just like having him around. I love him you know?"  
"Yeah I know sweetie but distance makes the heart grow fonder. He'll be tripping all over himself to see you once he gets back."  
Fallyn couldn't suppress a laugh, "Thanks dad."

Fallyn sat in the den for the next few hours until the three of them began yawning so much they drowned out the sitcom that had been playing on the television. Fallyn was the first to leave the room and found her legs felt like lead as she walked up the stairs. When she reached the top she made her way to the guest room as quickly as her feet would carry her. As soon as she clicked on the light she wished she hadn't. Photos of her brother lined the walls and stared at her from every angle. Fallyn closed her eyes and tried to fight the memories of him that flooded back to her; the baseball games, the snow fights, forts under the dining room table, and secrets shared through folded up notes. She sat down heavily on the bed and placed her head in her hands. _'I haven't even been to visit his grave.' _Fallyn thought sadly.

Early the next morning Jake was standing out on deck with the other Cornelia Marie crew watching as the boat slowly pull away from Dutch. Being on the Cornelia again had proven to raise different emotions than he had expected. While he couldn't go anywhere on the boat without being reminded of his father it wasn't haunting; it was more like having a small piece of his father back. Even though they were fleeting Jake cherished the memories immensely. Jake took a deep breath and inhaled the cold sea air. He glanced across the deck and saw his brother talking to their crew mate Ryan, cigarette in hand, with a wide grin on his face. Briefly they made eye contact and Josh gave him a small nod; Jake nodded back and turned his attention back the horizon. He missed his father so much it hurt but he knew with his brother working by his side and his girl waiting for him back home maybe, just maybe, he'd be ok after all.

Fallyn sat quietly in the back seat of her parent's car and watched the tombstones pass as a blur as they drove into the cemetery. As soon as she woke up that morning she suggested that they go see her brother's grave as a family but now Fallyn was having second thoughts. Not once had she seen her brother's grave; she had refused to attend the funeral and she wasn't sure she had the courage to see it. When they stepped out of the car Fallyn walked a few feet behind her parents and she had an overwhelming urge to run back to the car and curl up into a ball. She felt just as sick s she had the day she found out he had died. When the reached the grave her legs went weak and she collapsed onto her knees in front of the slab of marble. Hot tears streamed down her face and her shoulders heaved. "I want him back." Fallyn sobbed, "I could have stopped it. I should have been a better sister."  
Fallyn's father grasped her shoulder and her mother sat down next to her. "This wasn't your fault Fallyn." She said calmly, " and there isn't a day I don't miss him. You're father and I loved him with all we had. And I know he loved us too... And you meant the world to him Fallyn... But he was unhappy and I'd like to believe that wherever he is he's happy now."  
Fallyn nodded and wiped the tears from her face. "Goodbye bro." She said softly as she ran her fingers over the letters etched into the tombstone, "I love you."

That evening Fallyn was back in her car in the midst of the long drive home. Her mind was filled with thoughts of her brother and for the first time she was feeling at peace with his death. _'As long as he's happy.' _She kept telling herself. Finally, she was able to think about her brother without blaming herself for his death. Now she had nothing holding her back from living a healthy life. There was no more Elijah, no more survivors guilt, no more hurting herself, and no more using Marijuana as an escape. What Fallyn did have was Jacob Harris. He had gone from her nemesis to love and she couldn't wait for King Crab Season to end so she could have her charming, sweet, knucklehead of a boyfriend all to herself again.

_**Fin.**_

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